


my favorite ghost

by lefargen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29092341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lefargen/pseuds/lefargen
Summary: It's revolutionary, taking the dating world by storm and changing the romance game forever. A new app, one that uses DNA to connect people with their soulmate, has officially hit the market. Mark is so ready to sign up and find his one true love. That is, until he gets matched. Match Your DNA has a 99% approval rating, but Mark just might be that 1%.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 18
Kudos: 197





	my favorite ghost

**Author's Note:**

> loosely inspired by the novel the one by john marrs
> 
> anyone remember in 2018 when i posted my noren 1984 au and said i would write a fic for every song in florence + the machine's high as hope album? well it's finally happening (three years later lmao), this work/ title is inspired by big god.

☼

Donghyuck, Renjun, and Jeno sit in silence, staring each other down. Jaemin is also there, it’s his apartment after all, but he is less anxious than the rest (though only slightly.) Someone’s life is about to change tonight, and they aren’t sure whose. 

It started with a bet, something to get them through their boring calculus class, the one none of them wanted to take but was required by their University. Whoever scores the lowest on their next exam submits their DNA results to _Match My DNA_ , the first dating website that uses people’s DNA to connect them with their soulmates. 

It’s not an exact science. Some people don’t have any matches, very few have more than one, and the lucky ones get to find the one person with whom they were meant to be. It’s exhilarating and scary. It’s torn apart families and rebuilt new ones. It’s the biggest social phenomenon of the century, and none of them have yet to take the leap. 

Well, none of them but Jaemin, though he hasn’t had a match yet sadly. 

(That’s part of the reason he isn’t a part of the bet. That, and because Jaemin is infinitely better at maths than the rest of them, and wouldn’t lose anyway.)

Given that Jaemin is the hopeless romantic of the group, it came as no surprise that he submitted his DNA right away. The rest of them, however, were much more reluctant. None of them had plans to join _Match My DNA_ , that is, until Jaemin suggested the bet. 

Renjun, Jeno, and Haechan, have all struggled with calculus, and Jaemin was simply trying to give them an incentive to get their grades up for the final exam. Donghyuck was the first to agree, and Renjun is never one to back down from a challenge against his chaotic best friend. Jeno was simply along for the ride, and quickly agreed too without much fuss. 

So before their final exam, they all submitted their results. The only thing stopping them from finding their soulmate is the consent form sitting in their emails. Once they submit the form, their DNA will be processed immediately, and they will get their results (or lack thereof) instantaneously. And now that their final grades are in, it’s time for someone to meet their match. 

“I’ll go first,” Renjun sighs, opening his student portal and checking his results. Jeno and Haechan peer expectantly, and are worried by the reaction they receive from their best friend’s face. 

“Ha! 97%!” Renjun beams, both at his high grade and at his probability of not having to submit his consent form. His gloating doesn’t last long though, because immediately after Jeno is opening his results and proclaiming loudly, “98%!”

Renjun goes from smug to nervous really quick, and it’s a stare-down between him and Haechan for thirty-seconds before Donghyuck finally logs into his student portal. 

He finds the grade sheet for his calculus class, clicks on it, and refuses to look. Jeno does it for him, braver than the rest of them now that he knows he is in the clear. He shocks them all. 

“100%,” is all he says, but it’s enough for Donghyuck to sag in relief and for Renjun to get up and start pacing the room nervously. 

Nobody says anything for a moment, and Renjun looks so stressed that Donghyuck has half a mind to call off the entire bet. It is a major life decision after all, and maybe betting on the future of their love lives wasn’t the best idea. 

But if there is one thing Donghyuck knows about Huang Renjun, it’s that he never backs down from a challenge. So after his mini crisis, he sits down, grabs his phone, and submits his consent form. For a second, one still, prolonged second, there is nothing. And then there is a beep. 

Only, it’s not just one beep. Renjun and Jaemin’s phones buzz at the same time, surprising them both. The boys in question stare at each other, so intensely that Donghyuck feels his own heart drop, before they slowly turn towards their phones. 

They click on their profiles, and Donghyuck’s breath hitches as looks over Renjun’s shoulder and reads his notification. 

One New Match: Na Jaemin

For a second, everything stops. Nobody says or does anything, and Donghyuck spends the better part of a moment waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this some elaborate prank his friends have pulled? Is there more than one person out there in the world named Na Jaemin who happens to be Renjun’s soulmate in some strange twist of fate. 

One moment Jaemin is staring blankly at the wall, and the next he is standing up, tears in his eyes, as he rushes over and pulls Renjun in for a tight hug. Renjun hugs back just as tight. 

Donghyuck never would have guessed it, but now that he is witnessing right in front of him the beautiful way that Jaemin and Renjun seem to fit together in every single way, he feels stupid for not noticing sooner. 

Jeno and Donghyuck exchange a quick look, before nodding at each other. Neither of them need to intrude on this highly intimate moment between their two best friends. They walk over to Renjun and Jaemin, hug them and congratulate them quickly, before heading out. 

Their dynamic has changed forever, something that would normally make Donghyuck anxious, but he remains calm. He knows his friends well enough to understand that they will take care of each other, and be there for each other. But still, there is a pit in his stomach and he can’t seem to figure out why.

Donghyuck goes home, to the empty apartment he shares with Renjun (who more than likely won’t be home tonight) and feels lonelier than he’s felt in a really long time. It’s then that he realizes exactly what he’s experiencing. _Longing._

He wants what his best friends have just found in each other. He wants to connect with the person who is supposed to be his other half. He wants to be loved. 

If Donghyuck were a rational person, he would think his emotions over, sleep on it, and discuss it with his friends and family. However, impulsivity runs in his veins, and the spontaneity of his deepest desires takes over. 

He submits his consent form without a second thought. The long second that follows, convinces Donghyuck that he does not have a match. But, for the second time that night, (well… technically third) he hears the familiar ding. And just like that, his life changes forever. 

One New Match: Lee Mark

☼

It’s been a week since that fateful night at Jaemin’s apartment and simultaneously everything and nothing has changed. Donghyuck confessed to his friends what he did the very next morning over Facetime, only for Renjun to protest immediately. 

(“Why did I have to submit my form if you were just going to do it anyway an hour later?” Renjun complained, only for Donghyuck to scoff annoyingly. 

“Do you regret it?” Donghyuck goads, causing Renjun to blush. “Of course not,” the oldest boy replies without a second thought, and Donghyuck knows it’s a victory he has won, at least for now.)

He’s currently at a cafe, a lovesick Jaemin sitting across from him, and he is positively glowing in a way that makes Donghyuck’s heart soar in happiness for his friend. 

“So how is Renjun these days?” Donghyuck asks sarcastically, “I’ve barely seen him since you’ve stolen him from me. He’s hardly been in our apartment at all these days,” he whines. 

Jaemins grins unabashedly, offering the most insincere “Sorry” that Donghyuck has ever heard. 

“I thought you guys were taking it slow, anyways,” Donghyuck counters. “Sleepovers every night before you’ve even had your first date doesn’t sound very slow to me.”

“It’s kind of hard to go slow with someone you’ve known for years. We practically skipped the getting-to-know-you phase because we already know everything about each other,” Jaemin explains. “Besides, we’ve gone on two dates already, thank you very much. I think we are progressing smoothly.”

Donghyuck shakes his head knowingly, a soft smile on his face. “It’s just crazy to think about. How would have thought, Jaemin and Renjun destined by the universe itself.”

“Me,” Jaemin says, entirely too serious for it to be banter. Donghyuck gestures for Jaemin to continue, and it takes little convincing. Jaemin has always worn his heart on his sleeve and it makes it very easy to communicate with him. 

“I mean, we all know I’ve had a crush on him for like, _ever._ And I kind of hoped he would be the one, but I never thought in a million years that it would actually happen. Deep down, I think you just know when you’re destined to be with someone, even if it’s hard to admit it to yourself. You’ll understand it once you meet Mark,” Jaemin explains. 

Oh yes. Mark. Donghyuck’s ever elusive soulmate who has yet to reach out to him since they’ve been matched. 

Initially, Donghyuck planned to wait for Mark to message him first. But after an agonizing day of waiting, he decided to make the first move. Maybe his soulmate was shy and preferred to let others make the first move. But it’s been nearly a week of nothing but radio silence from his soulmate and Donghyuck is starting to get a little concerned. 

“That is, if I ever meet him,” Donghyuck whines. “I haven’t heard anything from him yet. I sent him a message through the app and also consented for my contact information to be shared with him. I’m starting to get impatient.” 

“He probably hasn’t seen the message yet. He might have turned his notifications for the app off. It could be a little while before he gets around to checking it. Or, if you don’t want to wait, you could stalk his social media and message him. Be like “Hey, this is Donghyuck. I am your soulmate. Check your damn app and then come over and make out with me,” Jaemin says. 

Donghyuck wants to believe that Jaemin is kidding, but he is just crazy enough to actually mean it. Luckily for Donghyuck, he has a self-preservation instinct, which rarely allows him to follow Jaemin’s advice. 

The truth is, Donghyuck has no idea whether Mark knows he has a soulmate or not. And if he does know, there could be a plethora of reasons why he hasn’t messaged Donghyuck yet. He runs through various scenarios and they help him feel better about the situation, at least a little bit. 

Maybe he is nervous to meet someone who will come to be such an important person in his life. Maybe he doesn’t live in the country and can’t speak Korean. Maybe a family member died and he has to take care of the arrangements. 

Or maybe he saw Donghyuck’s profile load on his app and decided that he wasn’t worth keeping. 

It would be easy to think this and let those negative ideas spiral, but Donghyuck has long since learned how to shut down the destructive demons that sometimes inhabit his head. Whether Mark accepts him or not, he will still be worthy of love, and that is what matters. 

So he spends the rest of the afternoon with Jaemin, joking and having fun. He is content with where he is in life at the moment. And though there is an intense longing for this elusive Mark figure, he doesn’t fret too much. He’ll waltz into Donghyuck’s life sooner or later. And he knows deep down that the wait will all be worth it in the end. 

☼

By the time the new semester starts up again after break, Donghyuck has long since given up on the idea of meeting his soulmate soon. Given how busy he was getting ready for his classes, he decided that it just wasn’t a priority to search for him at the moment. 

Winter break had given Donghyuck ample opportunity to try to find this Mark Lee guy, but it turns out the name is extremely common. Like millions of people common. So he decided to wait for the universe to bring the boy to him. Whenever it’s ready. Sooner or later (preferably sooner.)

When Donghyuck wasn’t soulmate-searching, he spent his time staying up all night playing Overwatch. While he doesn’t regret his method of relaxation, his sleep schedule definitely took a hit and has yet to recover. This means that on the first day of classes, Renjun has to practically drag him out of bed to get them to class on time. 

Jeno, who shares the class with both of them (despite having different majors they try to take their general courses together), has graciously brought them coffee. It’s basically the only thing keeping Donghyuck from going full zombie mode. 

The first day of classes always starts off the same, anyway. The teacher goes over the syllabus, Donghyuck tries not to fall asleep, and Renjun takes diligent, detailed notes that Donghyuck will later steal. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Until he notices him. 

Donghyuck tries not to gasp audibly when he looks across the room and catches sight of the one face he has memorized incessantly over the last month or so. He only has one photo of his soulmate, the one from his _Match Your DNA_ profile, but he is positive he would recognize him anywhere. 

Donghyuck had imagined a million meet-cute scenarios where the two of them would greet each other, fall in love instantly, and have an epic love story to pass on to their grandchildren. While meeting his soulmate in his boring literature class isn’t the picture-perfect Kodak moment he had hoped for, it doesn’t seem to matter in the end. 

Because Mark is in front of him, and he is already so perfect Donghyuck can barely breathe. It’s crazy, the sparks he feels already for someone he has never even met, but it’s science and Donghyuck isn’t smart enough to try to question anything the big leagues say. 

He subtly nudges Renjun, who looks at him confused for a moment before turning back to his notes. Donghyuck, desperate for his best friend’s attention, (mostly so he can aid him in his crisis) kicks him under the table. He means to do it gently, but he was a little more forceful than intended, and Renjun yelps loudly. 

Renjun is red-faced when the entire class turns to him, terrified that the professor might call him out for his little distraction. However, their lecturer simply rolls his eyes and continues on teaching. Donghyuck doesn’t pay attention to him though, because Mark Lee is staring right at him. 

Donghyuck notices two things immediately: the first being that Mark’s eyes positively sparkle under the lights, as if he has tiny stars in them. The second being that Mark definitely recognizes him, which brings about a whole slew of questions. 

Because if Mark recognizes him, then he has obviously viewed his _Match Your DNA_ results. But if he knows that Donghyuck is his soulmate, why didn’t he reach out? Why didn’t he respond to Donghyuck’s messages? Why has he avoided him up until this point?

Donghyuck makes the decision quickly and easily to confront his soulmate after class. He just has to get through the next 48 minutes and 32 seconds (31...30...29….not that he’s counting or anything) of his lecture first. 

Instead of listening to his professor (because who can pay attention when you are about to meet your soulmate for the first time?), he spends the rest of class subtly passing notes to his best friends. 

**MARK LEE IS SITTING ACROSS THE ROOM!! NEXT TO RAINBOW HAIR GIRL!!!**

The replies from his friends are instantaneous. Jeno’s is a sweet congratulations and a “get em tiger” with a winky face, while Renjun simply jots down a dozen exclamation points before turning back to their professor. 

Every minute passes slower than the last, and Donghyuck’s body is positively buzzing with anticipation at what is to come when the bell finally rings. He is a little disappointed in himself, given that his late start didn’t give him much time to get ready. Had he known he would be meeting his soulmate he would have put a little more effort into his appearance this morning. He figures that Mark is going to love him regardless of what he looks like though, they are literally soulmates, after all. 

Finally, after the longest hour of Donghyuck’s life, the bell rings. He is the first one out of his chair, and he makes his way over to Mark immediately. The boy in question is hurriedly putting his things away, as if he has somewhere far more important to be. If that’s the case, Donghyuck will try to keep their introduction short. Afterall, they are going to have their entire lives to get to know each other. 

Donghyuck stops in front of Mark, waiting for the other boy to notice him. It takes a moment, but Mark eventually looks up to find him standing there, and his gaze immediately turns sour. 

“Umm hi,” Donghyuck begins awkwardly. “I-I’m not sure if you know this or not but my name’s D-Donghyuck, and-” 

“I know who you are,” Mark interrupts, voice impatient and not at all like how Donghyuck had been daydreaming of for the last month. “And I’m not interested.” 

Donghyuck laughs awkwardly, because this must be a joke, right? He had heard of people rejecting soulmates, but those are the ones who refuse to take the test, not the ones who submit their profiles willingly. The only people who find their soulmates are the ones who are purposefully seeking them out. Mark’s face remains stoic. 

“Listen, I don’t want to hurt your feelings or anything, but I’m seriously not interested in pursuing anything with you. I thought maybe you’d get the hint when I ignored your messages, but you’re really not the sort of person I want to spend my life with. But, uh, have a nice life or whatever,” Mark finishes, before turning away and leaving the room without a second thought. 

Donghyuck stands there, mouth agape, too shocked to move. Everyone else in the classroom has left, and it’s just him, Renjun, and Jeno trying to process what just happened. Donghyuck had imagined a million scenarios where he would eventually meet Mark but none of them were quite like this. None of them had hurt this bad. 

☼

Donghyuck feels numb. He barely notices as Renjun and Jeno drag him back to his apartment. They must have called Jaemin as soon as everything went down, because the youngest of their little group is standing outside of Donghyuck’s door with a gallon of ice cream, waiting for them patiently. 

He appreciates what his friends are doing, he really does. They are always on damage control when something bad happens to Donghyuck, when he risks falling back into his self destructive habits. They remind him how far he has come when he doesn’t have the energy to remind himself.

“How could he say you aren’t the type of person he wants to spend his life with?” Renjun spits angrily, “He doesn’t even know you!” Renjun is always one to respond to these sort of situations with anger, and it’s comforting knowing that Donghyuck has someone willing to go to bat for him when he is much too tired to fight on his own behalf. 

Renjun offers his opinion loudly and it is a resounding “Fuck Mark Lee!” He is adamant that Donghyuck doesn’t need him in his life, and that he doesn’t know what he is missing at all. 

“People have lived without soulmates since the beginning of time. It’s only a new phenomenon, and it doesn’t even matter. Plenty of people live without their soulmates and live happy, lovely lives,” Renjun tries to reassure him. Donghyuck appreciates the sentiment, but feels sorry when he sees Jaemin’s face fall at his impassioned speech against the concept of soulmates. 

While Renjun thinks that Donghyuck should cut his losses, ditch Mark, and move on, Jaemin thinks the opposite. 

“It’s overwhelming, finding the person you’re destined to be with. Not everyone knows how to handle that emotion correctly. Maybe let the dust settle a little, and give him a second chance?” he suggests lightly. Trust Jaemin to not give up on the idea of true love, even when true just love bitch-slapped Donghyuck across the face. 

Donghyuck turns to Jeno, the most rational of the group, to see what he has to say, but his response is generic and unspecific. “I think you should do whatever you feel is right, Hyuckie. No pressure either way, we just want you to be happy.” 

“Exactly,” Renjun agrees. “We want you happy and healthy, and not hurting because of some douchebag. I don’t want you feeling inadequate because of him, Hyuckie. Don’t let his words get to you,” he pleads.

Donghyuck understands their concerns. They’ve been with him through his highest highs and his lowest lows. They witnessed first hand the extent of which Donghyuck can hate himself, and it’s not something any of them want to revisit. Luckily for them, Donghyuck has no intention of falling back on his negative thinking and destructive habits. 

He offers his best friends a smile, albeit a weak one. He won’t lie and pretend like he wasn’t deeply hurt at the reaction from the one person who is supposed to love him most. The person who rejected him without even giving him a chance. But Donghyuck has made a lot of progress in his self-love journey, and nobody, not even his goddamn soulmate, is going to ruin that for him. 

“Thank you guys,” Donghyuck offers sincerely, “I’m not going to lie and pretend like I’m not hurt by what happened, but I’m not going to let it break me. If Mark doesn’t want me, then I don’t need him. I can be happy without him.”

Jeno reaches for him and pulls him in for a big bear hug. Donghyuck can feel the pride resonating from his best friend’s body, knowing that if this event happened years ago, it surely would have broken him. Soon Renjun and Jaemin are joining in the hug too, and it’s so comforting Donghyuck almost wants to cry. 

He is so loved. Maybe not by his soulmate, but who even needs Mark Lee when he has friends like these by his side. 

☽

Mark had no plans of telling anyone that he had been matched. He was ready to ignore his soulmate, find a pretty girl who was more his type, settle down and get married. He had decided the moment that he opened his _Match Your DNA_ profile that there was no place for Lee Donghyuck in his life. 

Things took a slight turn when said soulmate approached him in his English Literature class and introduced himself. And while Mark stands firm that Donghyuck isn’t the kind of person he wants to spend his life with, he no longer feels as though he can keep the news in. So he turns to the one person he knows will never judge him: his best friend. 

Mark met Chenle at the park when the younger boy challenged him to a 1 vs. 1 basketball game. Mark, who isn’t that great of a player, and Chenle who wasn’t much better, spent all afternoon on the court, despite neither managing to score many points. 

At first, Chenle annoyed Mark slightly. He was a little clingy and talked down to him often, though he quickly became the boy’s most loyal friend and biggest supporter. Mark is used to having his entire life laid out for him by his parents, and he rarely goes against their wishes. Chenle is the only person who encourages him to exercise his own free will. 

(Mark’s parents insisted he study business in University, so that he could one day take over the family business. Though it was hard to admit, he was never quite interested. Chenle encouraged him to do sound engineering, something he was actually passionate about. This led to the biggest fight Mark has had with his parents, and only got resolved when they compromised and said he could double major.)

Chenle is sitting on his couch, playing video games while his cute little puppy circles around his feet. He is completely oblivious to the mental turmoil his best friend is going through, which would make it easy for Mark to forget the entire thing and keep his secret to himself. Something compels him to tell Chenle though, and before he knows it, he is loudly and abruptly interrupting his best friend’s game. 

“I was matched!” Mark blurts, surprising Chenle and, admittedly, himself as well. Chenle pauses his game, before turning to look at his best friend expectantly. Mark has always been envious at how calm Chenle can be in any and every situation. Nothing seems to phase him, a stark contrast to himself, who overreacts whenever he gets the chance. 

“Really? When?” Chenle asks, raising an eyebrow as he picks up his dog to give her a little snuggle. 

“At the end of last term,” Mark admits, only for Chenle to click his tongue. “That long ago, and you didn’t even think to tell me? I’m offended!” Chenle jokes, and it helps take the edge off of just how stressed Mark is feeling. 

“I haven’t told anyone,” Mark whispers, looking down, suddenly unable to meet Chenle’s eyes. “I was just planning on ignoring it and hoping that it would magically go away.”

Chenle’s eyes widened. “What changed?” he asks suddenly, confusing Mark. “I mean, you said you were planning on ignoring it, but here you are telling me,” he clarifies. “What changed, Mark?” 

“I met him,” Mark confesses. The words feel bitter on his tongue, the passive nature of them. As if he met Donghyuck by choice and not by force like how he feels. 

“Him?” Chenle questions, in a tone that does not contain surprise, simply clarification. Mark doesn’t know how to feel about that. He has never liked men, has never even considered the possibility, but it isn’t like the idea offends him. There is just something about Donghyuck that is deeply unsettling to him, regardless of his gender. 

“Yeah, him,” Mark replies simply. “I was ignoring him, didn’t even consider replying to him. But when I walked into my literature lecture today, he was there.”

“Did you talk to him?” Chenle asks, looking entirely too interested in Mark’s life. It bothers Mark a little, making him feel exposed. He isn’t used to having to stand by his choices, whether it be his own or fate’s. Usually his parents are the ones calling the shots, and it’s comforting to have that to fall back on. 

“Yeah, just for a bit. He approached me, I rejected him, we both left. I think that’s it. I don’t think we are going to be in each other’s lives or anything,” Mark says, voice feigning coldness and casualness. It’s clear by Chenle’s expression that he doesn’t buy it. 

“But...isn’t he like... your soulmate?” Chenle replies, with disbelief. And if it were anyone else telling Mark that they were rejecting their soulmate without even getting to know them, Mark would think they were crazy too. But when it’s him, he recognizes the fear, anxiety, and helplessness that comes with belonging to someone and having no choice in the matter. 

“I know it’s easy to judge, and I don’t think you’d fully understand it unless you were in my position. Everybody loves to talk about the magic of everyone finding their soulmate and how it brings people together. No one talks about how it can tear people apart,” Mark rants. When he is met with silence he continues. 

“Think of all of the families that were torn apart after people submitted their DNA and found out that they weren’t matched with their spouse. Think of the children whose parents suddenly left them to start a new family with their soulmates. Think of the people who get stuck with horrible people as their soulmates, serial killers, and drug traffickers, and people who hate dogs,” Mark gestures towards Daegal, Chenle’s puppy, dramatically. 

“And what about me? People who are stuck with someone they don’t want with no choice in the matter. Think of how there is no free will in this decision, about how we are meant to comply by some bullshit standards set by the universe. How is any of that fair?” Mark finishes, panting from emotion and lack of breath. 

“Stuck with someone you wouldn’t want, or someone your parents wouldn’t want?” is all Chenle replies, and it feels like a slap in the face. “Because it seems to me like you are so used to your parents deciding everything for you that when something happens that is out of their control, you don’t know how to handle it.”

Mark doesn’t let himself process Chenle’s words. If he does, he might have to admit to himself that there is some truth to them, and he isn’t ready to face those facts just yet. 

“Chenle, I’m not asking you to understand me, I really am not. I just ask that you hold your judgement, please,” Mark pleads softly. 

“I just want you to be happy, Mark. He’s your soulmate… didn’t you… I don’t know? Feel something?” Chenle offers, though Mark shuts him down instantly. 

“No,” he butts in, not allowing his friend to continue. “I felt nothing,” and it’s enough for them to drop the conversation entirely. 

As Chenle turns back to his game, Mark tries not to feel guilty about the lie that he just told. Because, yeah, he did feel something, though it was fleeting. But four seconds of a good feeling just isn’t enough of a reason to fight, so Mark promptly lets it go. 

☽

Mark is exhausted. Between his school commitments, his social life, and his extracurriculars, he barely has time for sleep. His family doesn’t seem to understand that. Or rather, they do, but still think that he should be prioritizing them anyway. So when a family dinner comes up, one with a ‘distinguished guest’ (whatever that means), he knows he cannot say no. 

It’s Saturday. Mark would much rather be spending his day in pajamas, catching up on homework and hanging out with his friends. Instead, he is sitting in his parents’ stuffy dining room, in a goddamn suit, across from some old, balding man that he has never met before. 

This ‘distinguished guest’ turns out to be an important client of his parent’s business. He is rude, vulgar, and has no table manners. Despite all of this, Mark has to play nice. His parents are relying on him to be a good little trophy in their hall of mirrors, and he has never learned any behavior other than immediate compliance. 

They get through the appetizer, Mark content to focus on the food in front of him rather than the dull conversation happening in the background. Contract law is simply not something that interests him. 

But by the time the main course comes around, the topic of conversation shifts to Mark. He hates this part of dinners, where his parents brag about him to their guests and talk about him like he isn’t there. Rather than feeling like a person, Mark feels like a doll that his parents can dress up and show off. 

They also highlight all of his accomplishments, none of which Mark can bring himself to feel pride for. When he looks back at his life, and all he has wanted to achieve, he finds very little that he actually followed through with. Instead, there is a long laundry list of everything he has done at his parent’s behest, none of which he would have chosen for himself. The reminder is not pleasant. 

“Mark submitted his DNA to _Match Your DNA_ , didn’t you, Mark?” his dad questions. Mark feels his stomach drop instantly, only managing to nod meekly before turning back to his plate. 

“That’s excellent!” Mr. Choi, their gross, greedy, pig of a dinner guest replies. Mark has quietly disagreed with everything this man has said tonight in the quiet comfort of his own head, and this latest comment is no exception. “Have you found a match yet, son?” he asks. 

Mark shakes his head instantly, the ease of lying in order to please the people around him coming as second nature to him. “No, sir. Not yet.” 

“Don’t worry about that, kiddo, the app is still new. Not everyone is on it yet. I bet in 5, 10 years time, the entire world’s population will be on _Match Your DNA,_ ” Mr. Choi states gleefully. 

“Wow,” Mark’s father remarks, “You seem to have a lot of faith in this company.” Mark picked up on that too, the way Mr. Choi seems to swear by _Match Your DNA_ as if it were a religion itself. 

“Of course I do! I am an investor after all. The more people that use that app, the richer I get!” and Mark tries not to feel disgusted. There is something so gross to him about an elite group of people making money on the potential happiness of others. Some things deserve to be freed from the immense pressures of capitalism and true love should be one of them. 

“I hope so too,” Mark’s mother butts in. “I can’t wait to see the beautiful, kind, god-fearing woman that Mark will one day bring home to us,” she grins dreamily. Mark can’t help but laugh to himself, knowing that Lee Donghyuck is likely none of those things. 

Something about the knowledge that Donghyuck is the exact opposite of what his parents would want fills Mark with glee. He likes to think that he respects his parents, and that is the reason why he always goes along with what they say. But as others have pointed out, it might just be him reverting back to all he has ever known. 

Since he was a child, his parents have controlled every aspect of his life. They selected every class, every teacher, every science fair project, every book report he has ever completed. They then selected his University, major, and area of study. 

In terms of his social life, they carefully selected various activities (piano lessons, tennis team, volunteering with the elderly, bible study) based on what they thought would look best to others. Their image was always more important to them than Mark’s actual interests.

His friends had to be approved of by them in order for Mark to hang out with them. Dates were much the same, causing Mark to have a stunted social life until he finally left for University. 

Going away to college (well...not really away… he is only 45 minutes from home after all) gave Mark the most freedom he has had ever in his life. He has been able to pursue hobbies he’s always wanted to learn (like playing guitar, which he parents thought would steer him in an “alternative” lifestyle and promptly disapproved of) and met friends that his parents would never get to meet. 

It’s almost like he is living a double life, the Mark his parents know and who he actually is. He wishes they could be the same person, but Mark doesn’t know how to stand up to his parents after being conditioned all of his life to practically be their show horse. 

Because that’s the real root of all of this. It’s all for show. His mother and father want him to be the perfect son, so they can be the perfect family, and maintain their image as perfect people. But it’s not real, none of it is real, and deep down, Mark doesn’t believe that any of them are actually happy. 

Mark’s parents have controlled everything in his life, for better or worse. He revels in the fact that they can’t choose his soulmate as well. 

☽

Mark was nervous to go back to his literature class after the first day. He didn’t know if Donghyuck would approach him again, and he was worried that he may try to confront him once more. However, attendance was mandatory, and Mark didn’t want his grades to slip, so instead he waited till the last possible minute to go to class and then sat as far from Donghyuck as humanly possible. 

He didn’t know if his actions were entirely necessary though, because Donghyuck seemed content to simply ignore him completely. There were a couple of times throughout the lecture where Mark would glance over at him, but the younger boys’ attention was firmly on the lecturer. 

A couple of times Mark would awkwardly make eye contact with one of Donghyuck’s friends only for them to glare daggers into his chest. One of them was small but ferocious, and the other was muscular and looked like a puppy. Mark wasn’t sure which one he was more scared of, but he figured it was best to avoid the both of them either way. 

After all, it wasn’t like Mark really wanted much of a connection to Donghyuck at all, even if it was through mutual friends. It would be easier if they simply didn’t have any communication. That way Mark wouldn’t do anything stupid, like fall in love with him. 

However, because the world is positively cruel and against him, 30 minutes into the lecture, his professor utters the two words every college student dreads hearing: group project. They probably went through this on the first day when they went over the syllabus, but Mark was too preoccupied with his inner thoughts (like “Oh my god, that guy over there looks like my soulmate.)

They are meant to choose a classic novel from a pre-approved list, and give a detailed literary analysis on it. The class isn’t too big or too small, maybe 30 students. Mark tries to convince himself that the probability of ending up in a group with Donghyuck is low, and he shouldn’t worry, but it’s futile. Of course Group #4 consists of him, Donghyuck, and someone named Yangyang. Though Mark is less than thrilled, he is at least grateful that there is another person in their group to act as a buffer. 

When the professor Dr. Kim tells them to spend the last 10 minutes of class meeting with their groups and coordinating schedules, Mark refuses to move. He knows that soulmates are theoretically designed to work well together, but he also knows that he effectively burned that bridge last week when he essentially told Donghyuck to fuck off. 

Donghyuck slowly, awkwardly makes his way over to Mark, his best friends shooting nervous looks at him the entire way. Mark takes note of the way his soulmate stands off to the side, not daring to get too close to Mark. They wait for a couple minutes, both looking around for this infamous Yangyang character, though he never shows up. 

Donghyuck disappears for a moment, and Mark finds him at the front of the room talking to Dr. Kim. Mark watches the way Donghyuck’s polite smile falls from his face during the conversation, before he makes his way back over to Mark. 

“Uh… Yangyang dropped the class. So Dr. Kim said we will just have to work as a group of two…” Donghyuck trails off, refusing to meet Mark’s eyes. 

Mark nods his head, but neither of them say anything. One long, excruciating moment passes where neither of them say anything, and Mark doesn’t know how he will make it through the rest of this class, let alone an entire semester with tension like this.

There is an elephant in the room, one that needs addressing, though neither Mark nor Donghyuck are willing to have that conversation. Mark just wants to keep things professional, get through the project, and go their separate ways. He doesn’t want to address anything with Donghyuck, doesn’t feel the need to explain himself in any way. Donghyuck is a stranger to him, even if he is Mark’s soulmate. He isn’t entitled to Mark’s deepest thoughts and hidden fears. 

“I mean, I guess we can meet up at my place and figure out what novel we want to read. Then we can create a timeline and go from there?” Donghyuck suggests. Mark is thankful the boy was willing to take the initiative. God knows if it were up to Mark, his stubbornness would never allow him to make that first move. 

“Uh… I guess that’s fine. Do you want to like… give me your number or something? So we can set up a time or whatever?” Mark says, words coming out stuttered and clunky. He can’t imagine how Donghyuck could possibly be his soulmate when their interactions are so stunted. He doesn’t think he has ever had such an awkward conversation in his life. 

“I mean, I technically already gave it to you, but you chose to ignore that. But fine, give me your phone,” Donghyuck snarls. Mark wants to bite back, but nothing the boy is saying is technically wrong, so he hands his phone over without a word. 

“This doesn’t change anything,” Mark says, finally finding his voice again. “I mean… let’s just keep this professional.”

Donghyuck snorts, rolling his eyes. “Don’t worry, Mark. I promise not to text you professing my undying love for you. You might be my soulmate, but I still think you’re an absolute pick,” he sneers. 

The bell rings before Mark can think of a reply, and Donghyuck wastes no time rushing to his friends, as if he can’t wait another second to get away from him. It’s easier this way, Mark rationalizes. The less time they spend together the better. 

☽

It’s at Donghyuck’s apartment that Mark realizes that, unfortunately, they probably are going to be spending a lot of time together. It’s the nature of the project, which requires constant collaboration and effort, that brings them together like this, unwillingly. 

Mark didn’t know what to expect when he walked into the younger boy’s home. It’s older than Mark’s own apartment, though something about it is oddly comforting. It feels very homey, with bright throw blankets, colorful art prints (“Renjun made those,” Donghyuck informed him when he caught him looking, “He’s my roommate.”), and mismatched furniture. It’s such a stark contrast to the neutral and bland vibe of his own apartment, designed by a snooty interior designer his mother hired with no input on his part. He kind of loves it. 

They spent half an hour working in silence, sat at Donghyuck’s dining table, researching different novels to make the focus of their project. Donghyuck is the one that suggests 1984. Mark agrees, mostly because he doesn’t have any better ideas, and starts drafting a project proposal to Dr. Kim. 

Their interactions with each other are still pretty uncomfortable, neither quite knowing what boundaries are there in terms of their relationship. If things continue the way they are, it’s going to be a long semester. Still, Mark can’t bring himself to comment on the matter, or make any effort to improve things between them. 

Donghyuck, however, doesn’t have the same inhibitions. Mark is beginning to learn that Donghyuck is much more bold than he is, and seems to have a stubbornness in himself that Mark envies (Mark is used to being rail-roaded, and rarely sticks to his guns.) After nearly an hour and a half of awkward project talk, Donghyuck finally addresses the giant elephant in the room. 

“Okay, this is just too fucking awkward. We have to talk about it, right? I mean we can’t just ignore it the entire time…” Donghyuck blurts. Mark has to disagree with him there. He is perfectly fine to continue ignoring everything, avoiding the conflict that is sure to follow any soulmate-related conversation they have. 

“I mean… I don’t really know what you want me to say? I already told you I wasn’t interested. I’m sorry if that isn’t what you wanted to hear, but you can’t force me to want to be with you,” Mark responds, honestly yet bluntly. 

“Well yeah,” Donghyuck frowns, “I got that part already. You never told me why though. If I’m going to be rejected by my soulmate, I would at least like to know why.”

Mark thinks it over, trying to choose his words carefully. He doesn’t want to offend Donghyuck, but he doesn’t know how to reject someone politely. There is always going to be some hurt there, no matter how nicely he puts it. 

“I mean, for one, I’m not gay,” Mark begins. “I don’t know how you expect me to suddenly be with a man when I’ve never been attracted to one.” Donghyuck scoffs at that. 

“How do you know? You’ve never been with a guy before. You’re not even willing to try, to give it a chance. It’s cowardly. We are soulmates, Mark. 99% of people report that they are extremely satisfied with their matches,” Donghyuck argues.

“Well, maybe I’m the 1%,” Mark replies back already on the defensive. He doesn’t know why he has to explain anything to Donghyuck. They may be soulmates, but he doesn’t owe him anything. 

“It’s really pathetic that you won’t even try. That you took one look at me, saw that I was a guy and immediately rejected me. You are too scared of going outside of your comfort zone that you won’t even take a chance at something that could make you really happy,” Donghyuck pushes, clearly ready for an argument. Mark takes the bait. 

“That’s a lot of assumptions to make considering you don’t even know me,” Mark spits, annoyed by the comments Donghyuck is making. The words wouldn’t hurt so bad if there wasn’t some truth to them, though he’d never admit that. 

“I know that you’re probably so affected by the heteronormative society that we live in that you can’t even imagine being with a man, and the thought scares you,” Donghyuck bites, clearly going for the jugular. Two can play at that game. “I know that you’re a coward-”

Mark interrupts him, not wanting to hear another minute of this boy’s rant. They just met, what the hell gives him the right to attack Mark like this? He understands that he is hurt, but that isn’t Mark’s problem. Mark owes him nothing. 

“Even if you weren’t a guy I wouldn’t want you!” Mark practically yells. “Every part of you is a disappointment to me.” 

Donghyuck shrinks instantly, and it is then that Mark knows that he has taken things too far. He told himself he wasn’t going to purposefully try to hurt Donghyuck’s feelings, but he couldn’t help it. His buttons were pushed just right, and he decided to get nasty. If they were truly meant to be, then surely Donghyuck would not bring out such ugly sides of him. 

When Mark looks over, Donghyuck is hugging himself, eyes welling with tears, and he is just about to start apologizing when a loud voice interrupts him, “Get out!”

Mark is shocked, looking at Donghyuck in confusion, before realizing that the order was not coming from him. He looks up and finds two people standing in front of him, the short kid from his literature class and a taller boy with pink hair. He doesn’t know how long he has been standing there, but they look mad enough to tell Mark that, at the very least, they heard the tail end of the argument. 

Mark opens his mouth, to explain himself, and maybe offer an apology, but gets distracted by the pained sob coming from Donghyuck. It feels like a thousand knives stabbing through his heart at once, knowing that he is the one that caused this boy, his _soulmate_  
, this much pain. The pink-haired boy rushes to him, while the smaller boy (Renjun?? Mark’s brain supplies) gets up in his face. 

“You have 30 seconds to get the fuck out of this apartment or I will break every single bone in your body,” he growls, and Mark hurriedly packs his stuff. 

Mark is actually pretty confident in his ability to win a fight, especially against someone as scrawny as Renjun, but he is desperate to get out of there regardless. He knows deep down that there is no coming back from this, and nothing he could say in this moment could right the wrongs of their previous argument. 

And while Mark regrets the pain that he is causing Donghyuck, he can’t help but think that maybe this is for the better. At least now Mark knows that Donghyuck has gotten the hint. Mark doesn’t want him. 

☼

Jaemin and Renjun do everything in their power to try to comfort Donghyuck, but at this point, he isn’t sure if he is ready to hear it. Hearing about what a disappointment you are would be triggering for anyone, however, being told how great he is doesn’t help either.

He knows that his friends truly think he is amazing, but he also knows they wouldn't be waxing poetry about him if he hadn’t just been insulted. Some things are better to process on your own time. 

“I know you think we are being over the top, Donghyuck,” Jaemins tuts at him, patting his head gently. “But we’re just worried about you. The last thing we want is for you to relapse because of some headass.”

Donghyuck sighs deeply. He hasn’t self-harmed in years, and he has no plans to now. He has thoroughly worked through his unhealthy coping mechanisms, but that doesn’t mean he is ready to talk about. For some reason, people don’t seem to understand that constantly reliving past trauma does not speed up recovery.

“I promise I will be fine,” Donghyuck says sincerely, making sure to look his friends directly in the eyes. (He feels a little guilty for feeling annoyed, he can tell how worried they are, and how much they seem to care about him.) “I just need some time to be sad for awhile.”

“That’s okay, Duckie. Take as long you need,” Jaemin preens, hugging his friend tight. Donghyck settles into his friend’s embrace and lets himself truly cry. 

He feels like he is in mourning, even though nobody has died. He is mourning the life he could have had, the _love_ he could have had. And he can’t help but wonder, what it is about him that put Mark off so much. 

Was it his looks? He did look a little disheveled the first day they met, though he had been putting more effort in his appearance in hopes that it would make Mark change his mind. It could be his personality. Was he too straightforward when he messaged Mark, and later approached him? Did Mark hate _everything_ about him?

_No._ Donghyuck stopped himself. He wasn’t going to allow himself to spiral out of control like this. Part of healing is learning how to rewire your brain, to break destructive thinking patterns and instead choose self-compassion. 

“I just… I thought we were supposed to be perfect for each other. I thought soulmates were meant to be perfect for each other,” Donghyuck whispers softly, barely audible to his friends next to him. 

“Soulmates or not, you still have to work at your relationship in order for it to work. Humans are very flawed, life is full of uncertainties, and practically nothing works out the way we imagine it will. Having a soulmate doesn’t guarantee that things won’t eventually fall apart if you aren’t pulling your weight in the relationship,” Renjun answers, wise as always. 

“Exactly,” Jaemin agrees. “If being soulmates was enough, Renjun and I would have figured our shit out long before we got matched. It wasn’t until we realized the full potential that our relationship had that we were actually ready to figure things out.” Renjun nods in agreement, looking at Jaemin with so much fondness that Donghyuck can’t even be jealous. He is so fucking happy for his friends, even if he doesn’t get to experience the same happiness. 

After a moment of silence, Donghyuck asks the question he’s been pondering, but too scared to voice. If he says it out loud, it’s like he is inviting the universe to make it happen, to make it come true. 

“Do you think I’ll be alone after this?” Donghyuck asks quietly. His friends jump to answer. 

“Of course not! I mean look at Jeno, he has no intention of getting Matched. A ton of people don’t even care about the app, and want to fall in love with people they meet organically. I’m sure there is like a million guys out there who would love to date you,” Renjun replies, Jaemin nodding intensely in agreement. 

Donghyuck tries to suppress the negative thoughts, he really does. But it’s really hard to feel 100% okay after being so violently rejected by the person who is supposed to love you the most. He can’t help it, when he voices his honest opinion, “Why would anyone else want me when my own soulmate doesn’t?” 

Renjun and Jaemin look so sad, that for a second, Donghyuck regrets ever saying anything. He doesn’t want to drag his friends down in the negative funk he is in, the negative funk that started the moment he was matched with Mark Lee. 

It’s Jaemin who finally replies, though his response isn’t what Donghyuck is expecting. He expects to hear a sharp rebuttal, and maybe some reasoning about why Donghyuck is actually really awesome. Instead, however, Jaemin starts sharing something deeper, more personal. 

“I know exactly what you feel like,” Jaemin explains, much to everyone’s surprise. “I used to think that no one would ever put up with me and that I would be alone forever.”

“But…you’re you,” Donghyuck remarks dumbly. “You’re like, perfect.” 

Jaemin shakes his head at that, before continuing. “When I was hospitalized after my first depressive episode, I thought there was no way in hell anyone would ever put up with me. And then when I was manic, and would make such a fool out of myself, I was sure no one would want to be with such an embarrassment. I thought no one deserved having to put up with me, I thought being bipolar meant I wasn’t worth loving that way,” he admits. 

Renjun reaches out, stroking his boyfriend’s cheek and kissing his temple. It’s like comforting him was a second nature to him, like he was designed to be there to pick up Jaemin every time he fell. Donghyuck doesn’t have that; he is going to have to learn to be self-sufficient. 

“What changed for you?” Donghyuck asks, wondering how his best friend was able to pull himself up by the bootstraps and carry on when life got hard. 

“Some things are just worth fighting for, even if you think you think you don’t deserve it. To me, love was worth fighting for, Renjun was worth fighting for. I have lost a lot of battles to my mental health and I wasn’t about to let this be one of them,” Jaemin responds honestly. 

And it isn’t much, but for tonight it’s enough. Donghyuck is going to continue to fight. Not for Mark, or soulmates, or any of that bullshit. But for himself. 

☼

The worst thing about University is that you spend half of the time procrastinating things you don’t want to do and the other half actually doing the things you don’t want to do. Donghyuck has spent the last week doing both, but with his grade on the line, he can’t put off the one thing he’s been dreading the most: seeing Mark again. 

After their last meeting, Mark and Donghyuck saw each other in class approximately twice and both times were extremely awkward. However, they both knew that they had a project that needed to be done, and they couldn’t avoid it (or each other) for very much longer, no matter how much they wanted to. 

It was Mark who reached out first, as it should be. Donghyuck wasn’t about to grovel and beg for that asshole, grades be damned. He texted the younger boy a half-hearted apology (which Donghyuck did not believe nor accept), and asked if they could meet up again to work on their project. He said he wouldn’t address the soulmate thing, and promised to play nice so Donghyuck relented. 

They find themselves in the very position they were in the week prior, sat across from each other at Donghyuck’s kitchen table. The only difference is that this time Renjun is home, and he is lounging in the living room with a cup of tea, eyeing Mark like a hawk. (“One wrong move and he’s out,” Renjun had promised.)

“I’m, uh, going to make some coffee now,” Donghyuck says, standing up after nearly an hour of work. “Do you want a cup?” he offers graciously (not that Mark deserves it.)

“Um, no thanks,” Mark declines, watching as Donghyuck makes his way over to the kitchen. “I don’t really drink coffee?” he responds, as if it’s a question rather than an answer. “I’ve been told I have childish taste buds.”

Donghyuck doesn’t bother responding, and Mark turns back to his work. A couple of minutes later Donghyuck comes back, placing a cup of something in front of Mark before sitting down with his own mug of steaming coffee. 

“What’s this?” Mark questions, a puzzled look on his face. He wasn’t expecting anything, especially after rejecting the coffee. Mark thinks Donghyuck has been accommodating enough by even allowing him to come over. 

“Apple juice,” Donghyuck replies, “For your childish taste buds.” Mark tries not to blush as he feels something warm growing inside of him. Apple juice is actually his favorite, though Donghyuck has no way of knowing that. Still, it brings a smile to his face as he takes a sip and lets the sweetness overwhelm his mouth. 

“This is my favorite, I haven’t had any kind of juice in a long time,” Mark admits, surprising Donghyuck. They haven’t really made small talk ever in the short time they’ve known each other. Most of the time they are either ignoring each other or talking about their project (or fighting by neither of them hope to make that a regular occurrence.)

“How come?” Donghyuck questions curiously. “Oh, my mom doesn’t like me drinking it,” Mark replies easily, before realizing how pathetic it sounds. He is a grown man who isn’t enjoying apple juice, even though he wants apple juice, because his parents won’t allow it (no, the apple juice is _not_ a metaphor.) 

Mark half expects a snarky comment from Donghyuck but the other boy just shrugs and gets back to working. He takes the time to look the boy over, admiring his pretty almond eyes, narrow nose, and plump lips. He only manages to look away when he hears Renjun clearing his throat, glaring at Mark suspiciously. 

The distraction pulls Donghyuck away from his work, groaning and pushing his papers away from him. “This is so fucking boring,” he whines, and Mark can’t help but agree. 

“What do you like to do for fun?” Mark questions, though he doesn’t know why he’s asking. He’s probably just as bored as his smaller counterpart he reasons. 

“I like to play games, and go out with friends. Stuff like that,” Donghyuck answers easily. “What about you?” 

“I like to play basketball with my friends. Or… I don’t know. Go to bible study maybe?” Mark offers, causing Donghyuck to burst out laughing. When Mark questions him, Donghyuck relents easily.

“It’s just, we truly have nothing in common,” Donghyuck giggles easily. Mark hates to admit it, but he really likes the sound of the other boy’s laugh. 

“I know right,” Mark responds. “It’s hard to believe that we’re soulmates.” 

Donghyuck immediately stops laughing and Mark realizes after the fact that he’s fucked up. Before Mark can apologize, Renjun is butting in, interrupting him. 

“Mark this is your warning. If you continue speaking, I’m kicking you out,” Renjun warns, and his voice is so fierce that Mark knows that he means it. 

Mark turns back to his work sheepishly, Donghyuck doing the same. They work in relative silence, only making conversation when it’s regarding the project they are working on. No one mentions the s-word again. 

☼

As soon as Mark leaves, Donghyuck grabs his phone and hides in his room. He doesn’t know why, but he is suddenly very curious about his soulmate, even more than he was when he was first matched with him. 

He can’t believe it’s taken this long to stalk Mark on social media, but to be fair, Donghyuck has spent most of the time he’s known the boy wishing that he never met him. And even now, when he isn’t exactly fond of the older boy, he can’t help but let the curiosity win. 

It takes several tries (okay, more like 20) to find the right Mark Lee on instagram. And when he finds him they realize that they seem to have some mutual friends. He is also able to admit to himself, for the first time, that Mark is actually kind of cute. Very cute. 

While Donghyuck’s instagram is full of candid pictures of him and his friends, Mark’s is much more professional. It’s easy to see that Mark posed for a lot of his pictures, and some of them seem to be taken by a professional photographer. 

There is a picture of him and what he presumes to be his parents. They are all posed together on a grand staircase, Mark and his father in well-ironed suits, his mother with tasteful dress and a set of pearls. Donghyuck tries to imagine himself amongst them and can’t. Maybe what happened between Mark and him was for the best. 

There are some other pictures, of Mark with his friends or Mark volunteering. Every image seems as if it has been perfectly curated to show a certain image. An image of class, perfection even.

One image stands out, however, at least in Donghyuck’s opinion. Mark is holding a little white puppy (one that looks vaguely familiar?) and smiling so wide it makes Donghyuck’s heart ache. He can tell it’s a real, genuine smile, not one of the forced ones he sees in the rest of the images. He wonders how much of Mark’s life is contrived, planned in order to portray a certain image to the world. He wonders if it makes him happy. 

There are two links in his bio, one for a Soundcloud, and another for a YouTube channel. It doesn’t look like he has a twitter, but that isn't a surprise. Mark doesn’t seem like the type to have strong opinions and even if he was, he probably isn’t compelled to share them with others. 

He clicks on the soundcloud link first. Donghyuck would have never guessed in a million years that Mark rapped, nor that he was actually good at it. No offence to Mark, but when Donghyuck looks at him, he doesn’t necessarily think of swag. The shock of it all almost makes him forget the embarrassment he feels from the fact that his soulmate is a _Soundcloud rapper_ of all things (only almost though.)

His YouTube channel is also a surprise. Most of his videos are covers, and Donghyuck tries not to swoon at the image of Mark with a guitar. Donghyuck loves to sing himself, and he can just imagine them together. Mark with his guitar, Donghyuck singing, the two of them busking together being all cheesy and cute. He indulges himself in the fantasy for just a minute. Enough for him to truly long for it, but not long enough that it will devastate him when he remembers it is all just a dream. 

Mark and him will never become that close. They will never share their mutual love of music together. They will never fall in love. That’s just the way things are.

Donghyuck puts his phone away after that. He feels as if he has learned enough about his soulmate. It appears as though there are two versions of Mark. The one of perfection, that he displays on his instagram, and the one that is shown through his music. Donghyuck likes the second version best, it’s more honest, more vulnerable, more real. 

(And honestly, it makes Donghyuck laugh a little bit, because isn’t he supposed to be the Gemini? Isn’t he supposed to be the one with two personalities? Maybe they are soulmates, they seem to have more in common than Donghyuck initially thought.)

There is no point dwelling on what could have been, Donghyuck reasons. The last thing he needs is to fall for Mark, especially when the older boy has made it clear that he will never love him. Still, it was kind of fun to look into Mark anyway. To get a peek into the life of someone he will never truly know. 

☼

The next time Donghyuck and Mark meet up, it’s just as awkward as before. Only this time, Renjun isn’t there breathing down their necks. (The boy has a date with Jaemin to celebrate their first 100 days together. Donghyuck tries not to roll his eyes. He wouldn’t do that cheesy shit even if he had a soulmate that wanted him.)

Donghyuck doesn’t know Mark well (let’s be honest, he doesn’t know him at all), but he can tell something is bothering him. He has a frown on his face, his shoulders are tensed up, and he is typing rather aggressively. Donghyuck tries to ignore it and focus on his own work, but Mark’s behavior is stressing him out. The last thing he wants is for his soulmate to blow up on him again. 

Finally, after minutes of uncomfortable silence, anxiety quietly rising in Donghyuck’s chest, he asks what he’s been thinking the entire time they’ve been sat next to each other. “Uh, Mark?” he asks, the older boy turning to look at him instantly, “Did I do something to upset you?”

Mark seems surprised by his question, his brows furrowed as he looks at Donghyuck curiously. “What? No, of course not. Why do you ask?” 

Donghyuck blushes, wondering if he has blown things out of proportion. Mark might not even be upset, and Donghyuck is just imagining it based on their previous interactions. “It’s just… you seem kind of upset…” Donghyuck trails off, not wanting to pry. He doesn’t know much about the protocol for rejected soulmates, but he assumes pushing for private information on his soulmate’s feelings is probably off limits. 

“Oh,” Mark sighs deeply, sitting back in his chair and running his fingers through his hair. “It’s not you, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. It’s just some family drama, it’s really not that serious.”

Donghyuck chooses this moment (when Mark’s head is buried in his hands and therefore not able to witness Donghyuck’s actions) to take a closer look at the boy sitting in front of him. He has dark circles under his eyes, ones that suggest a lack of sleep. For the first time in all that Donghyuck has known him, he looks truly vulnerable. It’s a stark contrast to the cold, uninviting soulmate he’s been dealing with for the last couple of weeks. 

He doesn’t know what compels him to ask, but it feels like the right thing to do. “Do you… want to talk about it?” Donghyuck asks cautiously. He’s expecting Mark to at best brush him off and at worst yell at him again. So imagine his surprise when Mark actually starts talking to him, like an actual human being and not a nuisance. 

“It’s just some shit with my parents,” Mark groans, sitting up again and making eye contact with the younger boy. “They’re uh, kind of controlling,” he admits. 

“How so?” Donghyuck questions carefully. He knows he is treading on some dangerous territory now, and he doesn’t want to pry too much into Mark’s personal life. Not only because he is afraid of what the boy’s reaction may be, but also because he knows he is not entitled to knowledge of Mark’s trials and tribulations. 

“They’ve always had everything planned out for me, like since birth. They’ve decided everything for me, my friends, what University I must attend, what my major must be, what activities I must do. And it’s all for selfish reasons. They don’t even care about me, it’s all about them and their image,” Mark rants, clearly not bothered with the idea of sharing his personal woes, even with Donghyuck. 

“Did something happen today?” Donghyuck wonders aloud, prompting Mark to continue. It’s easy to tell that the boy is riled up, and despite everything, Donghyuck is a little worried about him. 

“We just fought about school again. I went against their wishes last semester and added a second major. They think I’ve had my fun with my music classes, and now I need to drop it and focus on my business classes,” Mark explains. 

Donghyuck, who is planning to be a music teacher himself, understands how important the arts are in society. Nothing makes him angrier than money-hungry capitalist pigs who can’t see the value in something that is so culturally important. 

“Do you want to drop a major?” Donghyuck asks, and Mark shakes his head immediately. “I mean if I did, it would be business, not my sound engineering program. It’s something I am actually passionate about, and I don’t want to give it up.” 

“Then… don’t?” Donghyuck suggests as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Mark looks at him quizzically, as if no one has ever advocated for him to follow his own path. It’s a while before Mark speaks again. 

“It’s more complicated than that. I’m not used to telling them no. They have a lot of control over me, and it just feels like they’ll get their way in the end anyway so why bother,” Mark answers, before interrupting himself. “God, I must sound so pathetic, I’m an adult and I can’t even tell mommy and daddy no.”

Donghyuck shakes his head violently in opposition. “You aren’t pathetic at all. It sounds like you’ve been manipulated by your parents for years into doing exactly what they’ve asked from you. It takes years to deprogram that kind of mindless submission. Like cult members-” Donghyuck stops himself wondering if he has taken things too far. 

Mark, to his credit, doesn’t look angry. If anything, he appears as though he is really taking in Donghyuck’s words and thinking them over. For some reason, it compels Donghyuck’s next inquiry. 

“I’m surprised that you were on _Match My DNA_ , if I’m honest. I can’t imagine your parents wanting an app to find your soulmate when they could be the ones pairing you with someone,” Donghyuck notes. 

Mark laughs, an abrupt, ugly laugh, but it’s still a laugh. It is the first true expression of joy that Donghyuck has seen from the boy (except for when he gave him apple juice) and he must say, it does look nice on him. Happy Mark is Donghyuck’s favorite version of him yet. 

“Oh please, they are so full of themselves, they thought that my match would be exactly the type of person they had in mind for me. They would never in a million years have guessed that my soulmate would be you,” Mark chuckles. 

“Were they upset?” Donghyuck asks, trying not to let the doubt slip into his tone. He doesn’t know why, especially when Mark has already rejected him, but he doesn’t want to cause anymore problems for their family. 

Mark looks down suddenly, a melancholy look on his face. “They don’t know. I never told them that I was matched.”

“You must have known as soon as you saw my profile that they wouldn’t approve,” Donghyuck concludes, Mark reluctantly agreeing. For some reason, the information doesn’t bother Donghyuck as much as he thought it was. It was almost like, by sharing his story, Donghyuck was able to relieve the burden of guilt from his shoulders. The problem between them wasn’t the fault of Donghyuck, but the fault of Mark, and his parents, and his disastrous upbringing. 

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Donghyuck remarks, a bittersweet smile on his face. 

“What for?” Mark asks. 

“I’m sorry that it had to be me.”

☽

Mark doesn’t talk about his parents. In fact, in all of his life, the only person who really knows the frustration he feels towards them is Chenle. He doesn’t know what it is about Donghyuck that made him want to pour his entire heart out, but his last meeting with the boy had him acting entirely too honest. 

He also feels guilty. In the entire time Mark has known Donghyuck, he has been less than kind. In fact, in some cases he has been downright cruel. And in return, despite everything Mark has continued to put him through, he has been met with nothing but kindness. Donghyuck listened to Mark’s story with no judgement, instead acknowledging and validating his pain. 

The next time he meets up with his best friend, Mark lays it all out on the table. All of his interactions with Donghyuck up until this point, ending with him sharing his semi-traumatic backstory with him. 

“Wow,” is all Chenle says at first. “You must feel like shit.” And though it isn’t helpful, it is a pretty accurate statement. Mark feels like a grade-A asshole for how he handled this entire soulmate business thus far. 

“I can see the guilt on your face, mate,” Chenle continues, “So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to fix it?” 

Mark contemplates the question for a moment. What _is_ he going to do? Does he even _want_ to do anything? Because at least now, Donghyuck knows exactly where he stands. He understands that he doesn’t have a chance with Mark, that he isn’t interested. Would a drastic character shift change things between them?

But then again, does Donghyuck deserve the treatment he’s been getting from Mark? I mean, does _anyone_ deserve that kind of treatment. 

“Maybe I should offer an olive branch?” Mark suggests. “Just because I don’t want to be involved with him romantically doesn’t mean that I have to be a dick to him. In fact, I never should have acted that way in the first place. Maybe we could be friends or something. Or at least friendly? Acquaintances?” Mark wonders aloud. 

“Is that really what you want?” Chenle asks sternly. Mark must have an inquisitive look on his face, because Chenle elaborates. “I just don’t want to watch you lose another thing that you wanted because your parents don’t approve. I want you to be happy, Mark.”

“But I could always find someone that I want, and someone that they want too, right? That way we could both be happy and there wouldn’t be any conflict,” Mark replies, wincing at how pathetic he sounds.

Chenle sighs, as if he bracing himself for something laborious. To be honest, getting through to Mark probably is a big task in and of itself, so Mark doesn’t really blame him at all. 

“Your parents deserve the conflict that would hypothetically come to them. I know you don’t see it like this, Mark, but the way your parents have treated you your entire life--- that was abuse,” Chenle says softly, reaching out to grab his friend’s shoulder, grounding him. 

“N-no,” Mark stutters. “I mean they were strict and controlling but---- it wasn’t _that_ bad. It was normal, I had a normal childhood,” he replies, unsure if he is trying to convince Chenle or himself. 

“Mark, do you think it’s normal to choose your kid’s friends? To obsessively check your child’s phone and read their messages every time you see them? To lock them in their bedroom for days without food when they don’t do what you ask of them as punishment?” Chenle prods, Mark shaking his head vigorously the entire time. 

“Chenle, please,” Mark pleads, voice desperate. “I can’t do this right now. It’s too much…” 

“I’m just saying, you are an adult now. You have agency. You don’t have to listen to them, or do what they want. Are you really going to live the rest of your life letting your parents dictate how you live? Do you really think that’ll make you happy?” Chenle prods. 

“What would make me happy is if you stop talking about this, when I specifically asked you to,” Mark growls, though Chenle is not offended. They know each other’s limits, and Chenle is not daft to think that he didn’t already cross Mark’s. 

“Okay, how about this. I still don’t know anything about Donghyuck. Even if you don’t want to be with him, he’s still your soulmate. Do you have a picture?” Chenle asks, only for Mark to quickly tell him no. 

“I don’t. He might have an instagram if you want to look, but you’ll have to find it on your own,” Mark offers, not expecting him to actually take him up on it. 

Chenle spends a couple of minutes searching for Donghyuck, and finds him much sooner than anticipated (it seems as though Donghyuck and Chenle have a mutual friend: Huang Renjun.) Chenle clicks on his profile, and promptly follows him. He then shifts over, waving his screen in Mark’s face so that he can see too. 

Though Mark wants to resist, he has to admit that he is at least a little curious. Chenle clicks on the first picture, Donghyuck with three other boys their age. He recognizes them all as Donghyuck’s best friends, and can’t help but feel grateful for them. He’s glad his soulmate has people who love him, even if he can’t be one of them. 

They flick through another few pictures, all Donghyuck in various social settings. It’s obvious that his soulmate is well-liked, and quite popular. Mark can’t help but wonder how he wasn’t run into him before they were matched, but then he remembers the extremely tight social circle his parents encourage him to have. 

Mark is surprised when he finds a video of Donghyuck singing softly at the camera. His voice is like honey to Mark’s ears, and he positively melts at the video. His mind starts racing, thinking of the musical moments they could share together, Mark on the guitar, Donghyuck singing--- _No._

Mark can’t have that with Donghyuck. Hell, he can’t have that with anyone. They keep scrolling, eventually ending with a picture of Donghyuck outside, the sun shining on his radiant skin. He looks breathtaking. For the first time since Mark has met his soulmate, he longs for him, longs for the future they could have together. It’s impossible, he knows it is (Mark will never stand up to his parents), so he doesn’t dwell on it. It’ll just cause him more pain in the long-run. 

_He’s going to make someone very lucky someday_ , Mark thinks. _Just not me._

☽

Chenle recognizes that by forcing Mark to relive some of his childhood trauma, he has kind of dampened the mood on their day. Don’t get him wrong, it was necessary, in Chenle’s opinion, though he still feels guilty. So he enlists the help of Jisung and decides to plan a night out. He’s going to get Mark shit-faced tonight. 

“Jisung’s an adult now, Mark,” Chenle explains, “You have to be a good older brother figure and buy him a drink,” he argues, though Mark isn’t really listening. He knows Chenle just wants to get him to stop moping, so he agrees. Besides, a night out would do him some good, distract him from the mess that is his emotions lately. 

Chenle picks a trendy bar for them to go to, where the drinks are more expensive than Mark would like to pay for, even if he has the money (“It’s the principal of the thing, Chenle,” Mark tries to argue, only to be overruled.)

Mark spends an arm and a leg on some drinks, and they quickly get cozy on a booth in the corner of the bar. While Mark would love to complain about all of the money he had to fork over, he can’t bring himself to. This is the most carefree that he has felt in months, and he feels like he can truly be himself without the weight of his problems weighing him down. 

Chenle gets up to buy the next round, (something Mark and his wallet are extremely grateful for), while Mark catches up with Jisung. It’s been awhile since the two of them had spent any one on one time together. It feels nice, spending time with someone who doesn’t expect anything from him. They are so lost in conversation that neither realize how long Chenle is taking with their drinks. It’s a busy night, but it’s not _that_ busy, 

Twenty minutes later, Chenle makes his way back to the table, with a tray carrying 7 drinks. Jisung and Mark look at Chenle dumbfounded, before the boy explains himself. “I ran into a friend of mine. He’s meeting his friends here and they’re going to join us. Is that cool?” he asks. Though Mark would prefer it to be just the three of them, he can’t really say no anyway, so he accepts it and agrees. 

(Had he known who this friend was, and who he would be bringing over with him, it would have been another story. But in that moment, ignorance was bliss.)

It’s only when a small figure approaches him that he regrets not saying no. The boy in front of him doesn’t look pleased to see him at all. 

“Oh,” Renjun says simply, “It’s _you_ ,” he glares, and one look at Chenle tells Mark that he’s planned all of this. Before Mark can respond, three others come up behind their friend and Mark is once again greeted by his soulmate and his closest friends. To say the air immediately turns awkward would be an understatement. 

“Well,” Chenle begins greeting, “I’m sure you all know Mark, so I will introduce myself, I’m Zhong Chenle, I’m Renjun’s friend, and this is Jisung. He just became an adult so we are celebrating!” he announces as if nothing is wrong. 

Everyone sits down, cautious at first, though things loosen up once the alcohol starts flowing. Renjun and Jaemin seem to be in their own little world, while Jeno and Jisung appear to be deep in a conversation about the dance team on campus. Chenle and Donghyuck have their heads close together and they are laughing about something Mark is not privy to. Knowing his best friend, it’s probably bad news. 

Mark can’t help but stare across the table at his soulmate. He’s done his makeup today, and he’s dressed nicer than Mark has even seen him, wearing tight black jeans, a silk button up, and boots. He seems to have relaxed, which is a relief to Mark. He would hate for his presence to ruin Donghyuck’s night. 

After a couple of rounds (where basically everyone ignores Mark except for Jisung, and occasionally, surprisingly Jeno), they decide to walk over to a karaoke place that’s just down the road. It is on the way that Mark makes conversation with Donghyuck for the first time all night. 

“Hi,” the other boy says, walking up to him. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight. Sorry for barging in on your night out with your friends. If I had known, I would have suggested to my friends that we go somewhere else,” Donghyuck apologizes. 

“No!” Mark says, much too loudly and much too quickly, earning warning looks from both Jeno and Renjun who are walking ahead of them. “I mean, it’s fine. We don’t have to completely avoid each other or anything. Besides, we’ve been working hard these days, I think we deserve a little bit of karaoke.”

Donghyuck throws his head back, laughing though Mark is sure nothing he just said was funny. He figures the younger boy is drunk, and therefore more prone to laugh. “I’ve always wanted to do karaoke with my soulmate,” Donghyuck admits quietly, smile slowly fading from his face. 

Mark can’t offer Donghyuck a lot (let’s be real, Mark can’t offer him much of anything), but he can give Donghyuck this. “Well then, lead the way Donghyuck. I don’t do duets often, so you better make it worth my while,” he replies, and his soulmate grabs his hand and drags him the rest of the way. 

Mark half expects Donghyuck to pick a sappy romance song for their duet (because isn’t that what most people pick?), though to Mark’s surprise (and utter horror) the boy chooses WAP of all songs. 

Mark doesn’t know what is more embarrassing, singing about pussy in front of his closest friends and practical strangers, or admitting to himself and everyone there that he knows all of the words. It’s humiliating and shocking and somehow the most fun Mark has had in ages. 

It’s hard to deny the chemistry that the two of them have, the way they bounce off of each other so well, dancing and singing without missing a beat. Even after they are done, Mark finds himself gravitating towards Donghyuck, not wanting the moment of connection between them to end. 

Somehow, with the background noise of their friends belting their hearts out (some on key and some off), Mark and Donghyuck have their first, genuine conversation with each other. 

Mark learns that Donghyuck wants to be an elementary school teacher, and Donghyuck learns that Mark likes to play basketball as a stress reliever. They find out that they both like pineapple on pizza, though Mark doesn’t like it on it’s own. But most importantly, they learn that they get along together, quite well actually. 

Once karaoke is over, most of them are quite knackered, though they do make one last stop at a local pizza shop, hoping to grab a slice before heading home. Donghyuck and Mark, true to their last conversation, both get Hawaiian. 

“Most of my friends wouldn’t touch this pizza with a twelve-foot pole,” Donghyuck admits, taking a large bite out of the slice in his hand. 

“That’s because they’ve never tried it,” Mark replies simply. “Sometimes we think something isn’t for us because we aren’t familiar with it and don’t give it a chance. But then when we do try it, we realize exactly what we’ve been missing.”

Donghyuck makes eye contact, before turning to his pizza shyly. “Is that some sort of metaphor?” he asks. 

Mark doesn’t answer, choosing instead to sit in comfortable silence and finish their pizza. Though deep down, they both know the answer is yes. 

☽

As luck would have it, Mark and Donghyuck have to meet up the next day in order to work on their project. Despite both of them being hungover, they make a valiant attempt to actually get work done. It doesn’t last long. 

After only ten minutes, Donghyuck closes his laptop and rests his head on the table. “Uhh… are you okay?” Mark asks, looking at Donghyuck quizzically. 

Donghyuck groans loudly. “If I look at my screen for another minute, I’m going to throw up.”

“Thank god,” Mark replied, shutting his old laptop. “I don’t think either of us are up for this after the night we had last night.” To be honest, Mark had shown up to Donghyuck’s apartment mostly out of obligation, and had no actual plans on getting work done. If he had it his way, he would have stayed home and slept till 5pm. 

“Speaking of last night,” Donghyuck begins shyly, “I had a lot of fun. That was the best night out I had in awhile. The seven of us make a fun group. Maybe we could do it again?” he asks nervously, refusing to make eye contact with Mark for fear of rejection. 

“I’d like that,” Mark answers softly. Donghyuck looks up suddenly, smiling so bright, just at the prospect of getting to spend more time with him. (With _them,_ Mark corrects in his head.)

“You know, I know you don’t want to acknowledge the whole soulmate thing, and I respect that,” Donghyuck says, taking note to how Mark immediately tenses up at the subject. “But I just can’t imagine not having my soulmate in my life. Do you think we could be friends? Maybe? No pressure, it’s just-” Donghyuck rambles, only for Mark to cut him off. 

“Of course we can be friends Donghyuck. I’m sorry I didn’t offer that in the beginning. There was no reason for me to treat you the way I did, even if I didn’t want to be in a relationship with you,” Mark apologizes sincerely. “Do you think we could maybe start over?”

Donghyuck smiles at the offer, accepting immediately. Mark is baffled that, despite everything, Donghyuck still welcomes every part of him with open arms. He doesn’t deserve it, doesn’t deserve a soulmate who gives so openly, when all Mark can do is take. 

“Let’s start today, right now,” Donghyuck smiles, standing up suddenly, wobbling a little (he is still a little woozy.) “Let’s order greasy hangover food and watch a movie. You can pick the movie, but I get to pick the takeout. I know the best place, their breakfast menu is like crack to me…” Donghyuck rambles. And really, with an offer like that it’s easy to accept. 

Mark learns quickly that Donghyuck has great taste in food. He also learns that Donghyuck loves talking during movies, but his commentary is both hilarious and insightful, so Mark doesn’t mind. Most importantly, however, Mark learns that he loves spending time with Donghyuck. 

The day passes quickly, and when it’s time to leave, Mark is dragging his feet to the door. He doesn’t want to go home, doesn’t want to leave this warm, homey apartment to go back to his empty and cold one. Doesn’t want to leave Donghyuck, whose company makes Mark feel simultaneously thrilled and relaxed (and how is that even possible?) But staying means crossing boundaries that Mark simply doesn’t want to cross, so with a heavy heart, he gives a quick hug to Donghyuck (okay so maybe they lingered just a bit) and walks home. 

Mark could have taken a cab, but he wanted some time to sort out his head. When _Match Your DNA_ was first established, there was no doubt in his mind that he would sign-up. He couldn’t imagine anyone _not_ wanting to be with their soulmate. And now that he’s met Donghyuck, spent time with him, he realizes his original hypothesis on soulmates might be correct. 

It’s impossible to meet your soulmate and not start to fall for them. 

☽

Mark is spending his Sunday morning volunteering at a local nursing home. Out of all of the activities Mark’s parent’s have made him do over the years, this is one of the only ones he actually likes. 

He has a set routine every time he goes. He starts out at the Bingo table (he may be that only person under the age of 65 who loves bingo but so be it) and makes sure that Mr. Lee doesn’t cheat like always. 

He then heads to the kitchen where he serves the elderly people meals, before sitting down and having some cake with some of the residents. He’s used to being the most charming young man (and oftentimes, the only young man) in the room, and is shocked when a familiar face might be upstaging him. 

Out of all of Donghyuck’s friends, Jaemin is the one with whom Mark has had the least interactions with. He isn’t kind for the sake of avoiding conflict like Jeno, nor is he overtly hostile like Renjun. From what Mark can see, Jaemin is fiercely protective of his friends, though seems genuinely nice overall. 

To be honest, Mark is ready to pretend he doesn’t notice the other boy, and continue about his business, but Jaemin seems to have other plans. He stops him just as he is grabbing a slice of cake, asking Mark to grab a coffee with him afterwards. Mark doesn’t know what compels him to say yes but he does. Maybe he wants Donghyuck’s friends to like him now that they’ve made peace with each other. 

If it takes Mark an extra ten minutes to say goodbye to his favorite residents, that’s his business. It is NOT because he is anxious about being one-on-one with his soulmate’s best friend, who clearly used to hate him for very deserved reasons. Not at all. 

Jaemin is waiting by the front door, and the two of them walk out together, heading towards the small cafe down the road. They make small talk about their volunteering experience (Jaemin has been volunteering for just as long as Mark has, though mostly with mental health charities. He also goes because he wants to, not because he’s forced to, unlike Mark.)

When they get to the cafe, Mark orders a strawberry smoothie and Jaemin orders an americano with way too many shots of espresso. They both look at each other’s orders in disgust but neither say anything. When they sit down, Mark discovers the real reason why Jaemin invited him to the cafe. 

“So, how are you holding up?” Jaemin asks, and it’s probably the last thing Mark ever expected to come out of his mouth. For a second, Mark flounders unsure of how to begin answering. Luckily Jaemin saves him the trouble. 

“It’s just, I know how overwhelming it can be. Finding your soulmate and all. I don’t think anyone is truly ready for it,” Jaemin admits.

Mark sputters at his response. “But, you and Renjun were like… made for each other.”

“Almost like soulmates, right?” Jaemin replies, raising an eyebrow and making Mark feel like an idiot. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Injunnie more than anything, but it’s still scary. There is something very vulnerable about being connected to someone so deeply.”

Mark can’t believe it. For the first time since this entire soulmate thing began, he is finally finding someone who understands how he feels. 

“I never thought someone like Donghyuck would be my soulmate,” Mark admits. “And the shock of it all caused me to react very poorly. I’m still not ready, and if I’m honest, I know deep down I never will be, but I don’t think anything could have prepared me for being matched. Even if it was someone who I thought would be perfect for me.”

Jaemin hums, before stirring his coffee, a bittersweet smile on his face. “It’s scary to take the plunge. I’ve struggled with mental health a lot in my life, and I didn’t know if I was ready to let myself be loved so wholly. I didn’t know if I could give Renjun all that he deserved in a partner or not.” 

“There is a lot to be gained, and unfortunately, some things to be lost as well, when you commit to this. But I can promise you that everything you lose is going to be replaced by so much light and love and happiness that you won’t even miss it,” Jaemin answers honestly. 

Mark is grateful that Jaemin is willing to be so vulnerable with him, and share his story when they are practically strangers. What Mark can’t work out, is _why_ he is telling him all of this. 

“Thank you, Jaemin, seriously,” Mark replies. “You’ve validated how I’ve felt about things more than anyone. I just don’t understand what brought this on?”

“I can tell you aren’t happy, at least not as happy as you try to portray yourself to the world. I can recognize it because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to deny yourself things that would make you feel better because you are scared of change. We can get so comfortable in the way we live our lives, even if it’s harmful to us. I think you could be really happy if you gave the whole soulmate thing a shot,” Jaemin says earnestly. 

“And how do you know?” Mark asks. “How do you know it will be worth it? How do you know Donghyuck will make me happy?” voice a little desperate. 

“Because Donghyuck makes everybody happy,” Jaemin replies simply. And though Mark hasn’t known him for long, he knows that Jaemin is 100% correct. 

☼

Donghyuck can feel things changing between Mark and himself. Their interactions are no longer tinged with awkward silences and stunted conversations, and they’ve even started hanging out outside of their weekly project meanings. (And it just so happens that their respective groups of friends really get on well, and they’ve been getting together as one big group on the weekends.)

He has to admit, however, despite all of the progress they’ve made, Donghyuck is still skeptical of Mark. While they’ve definitely ventured into friendship territory, he can’t bring himself to trust him fully. Not after everything he has been through at the start of their rocky relationship. 

Though Donghyuck can concede, through getting to know Mark more personally, that he is actually a really great person. He is kind to others, and looks out for the people he cares about. He is also crazy hard-working, and ambitious when it comes to his goals. Donghyuck knows that if Mark wants something, he will get it. Too bad Mark doesn’t want him.

Donghyuck can’t feel too bad, because Mark still allows him to be in his life as a friend. And being Mark’s friend is so wonderful, that Donghyuck can’t bring himself to complain. How could he when he has been blessed with so much already?

This afternoon, Mark decided to take him to the basketball court. While Donghyuck detests physical exercise, he couldn’t say no. He was enticed by the idea of getting to spend time with Mark, and getting to see the boy in his element. Besides, a little physical activity could do him good, he thinks his legs are beginning to forget what running feels like. 

Mark isn’t an amazing basketball player by any means, but he’s miles better than Donghyuck, and it’s fun to see the boy so carefree, laughing in the sun. After Donghyuck makes several attempts to make a basket and misses all of them, Mark offers to help. 

Mark drags Donghyuck over to the free throw line, before stopping and positioning himself directly behind the smaller boy. He hands Donghyuck the ball, before placing his hands over Donghyuck’s smaller ones, guiding him. 

“Straighten up your wrists a little bit,” Mark says into Donghyuck’s ear. He is trying to keep his composure, but Donghyuck is blushing at the close proximity between Mark and himself. He tells himself to calm down, but it’s hard when he is literally _made_ to enjoy being held by the older boy. 

“Just aim for the corner of the box on the hoop. It’ll go in like, 64% of the time,” Mark assures him with an anecdote that is not at all scientific or correct. Donghyuck does it anyway, choosing to trust Mark’s guidance, and to his surprise, he makes the shot. 

He’s excited about his accomplishment, but not as excited as Mark who is so proud of his student that he lifts him up and spins him around, hugging him tight. This is the first time Mark has ever engaged in physical affection with him, and Donghyuck can’t get over how right it feels. 

(Well obviously it feels right, they are meant to be doing this with each other. He just can’t help but wonder how Mark feels about this all? Does he feel it too, that spark in his chest that burns brighter than a thousand suns? Is he suppressing it, or is it simply not there at all?)

Mark puts him down and they continue their game (though it isn’t really a game because neither are keeping score) as if nothing strange had just happened between them. Though they don’t acknowledge it, something in the air has shifted for the two of them, and they are laughing (and maybe even flirting?) the entire time they play. 

“It’s too hard!” Donghyuck whines childishly. “I don’t have the body to be a basketball player! I’m too short,” he pouts, Marking laughing at him. 

“Hey! Wait a minute! We are basically the same height! If you’re too short, then so am I,” Mark counters back, pretending to be offended. He isn’t a very good actor, however, Donghyuck can clearly see the glint of joy in his eyes. 

“You may be short, (“Hey!” Mark protests again) but you are strong and broad. Look at my body, I don’t stand a chance,” Donghyuck says, gesturing to himself. 

“I like your body!” Mark defends, and Donghyuck goes red immediately. He has never met someone who so quickly jumps to his defense everytime he says something even remotely self-deprecating. Even his friends, who are very diligent about encouraging Donghyuck to love himself, are not as quick and forceful. 

After a while of back and forth, Donghyuck retires to the grass, content to watch Mark play around on the court for a little while longer. And honestly, what a view. Donghyuck noticed the first time that he saw Mark’s picture on _Match Your DNA_ , confirmed it when he met him in person, and now the boy is really hitting the nail over the head. He’s hot. Donghyuck can’t deny it, not when Mark’s shirt is sweat-slick sticking to his chest, outlining faint abs. Not when he’s got a concentrated look on his face as he tries to aim a shot. Not when his biceps are flexed as he is raising the ball towards the net. 

But it doesn’t matter. No matter how hot Mark is, he isn’t Donghyuck’s to lust over. He needs to remind himself of that sometimes, to keep himself from pining over something he can’t have. 

After a particularly impressive shot, Mark makes his way over to Donghyuck, a wide smile on his face. However, as he draws closer, the smile slowly fades from his face. Donghyuck doesn’t know what prompts the change in mood, at least until he follows Mark’s line of sight, directly to his thighs. He hadn’t noticed that his shorts had ridden up. 

_His scars._

“Uhh…” Donghyuck says dumbly, slowly pulling his shorts back down. “We don’t have to talk about this, do we?” 

“Of course not,” Mark says softly, “I don’t want you to talk about anything you aren’t comfortable with. It’s just… those aren’t new are they? I just need to make sure you’re safe.” Donghyuck is taken aback by how hoarse Mark’s voice is. He sighs simply, and answers honestly. 

“I haven’t self harmed in years, since I was in high school,” Donghyuck admits. “I had a lot of self hatred, and it took years to work through, but I’m on the other side of it now. I have healthy coping mechanisms now, so don’t worry,” he finishes, giving Mark a weak smile that he is not returned. 

When Mark finally speaks, it isn’t what Donghyuck is expecting. He reaches out, grabbing Donghyuck’s hand, and says as sincerely as he can, “I’m so proud of you and all you’ve overcome. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you had to question your self worth again.”

Donghyuck goes to reassure him, but Mark stops him and continues. “I know it probably doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I think you’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. And you deserve to be happy, because you make everyone around you _so fucking happy,_ ” Mark finishes pulling him in for a tight hug. 

And Mark is right, Donghyuck doesn’t need him to tell him that. He has already worked through his issues (though self-love is an ongoing process), and he does not rely on the validation of others to feel good about himself. But it’s still nice to hear. 

Mark shared his trauma with Donghyuck months ago, and now Donghyuck is returning the favor. As they sit in the grass, holding each other for an unknown amount of time, it is with the understanding that they can never take away each other’s pain, but they will never again add to it either. 

It’s taken Donghyuck years to rise up and fight against the voice in his head telling him that he isn’t good enough. And with an army of loyal friends, and Mark, their newest cadet, he is confident there is not another battle he could possibly lose. 

☼

“Sorry, I’m late,” Donghyuck apologizes, sliding into a booth where his best friends are waiting. “Mark and I were just putting the finishing touches on our project. You guys know how it is.”

Renjun and Jeno know exactly how it is. Jeno is apparently in a group with lazy people, meaning he’s had to put in a majority of the work. Renjun’s group is more balanced, though their subject matter is slightly more difficult. Neither are quite done yet, but they all had the time to spare for a quick coffee break. 

“How are things going with Mark, by the way,” Jeno asks, pushing Donghyuck’s drink over towards him, having ordered for him before the smaller boy arrived. 

“I mean, you’ve seen us together. We’ve finally found our footing as soulmates. It’s not the traditional path that soulmates take, but it works for us. We are happy as friends,” Donghyuck answers simply. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? With being just friends?” Renjun butts in. Donghyuck takes a long sip from his drink before responding. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, voice slightly too high. It doesn’t sound like the truth, even to Donghyuck’s ears, but it’s close enough. Donghyuck might not be totally ready to give up on the idea of a life with his soulmate, but he’s getting there. He’s very content with how things are at the moment, and he knows someday, he will know not to ask for more. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Duckie,” Renjun replies earnestly. “I don’t want you to develop unreasonable expectations because Mark is suddenly being nice to you. Just promise me you’ll protect yourself, okay?” 

“Don’t worry about me, Renjun,” Donghyuck promises. “I’m more protective of my heart than I’ve ever been. I know Mark doesn’t want me like that and I’ve accepted that. I just want to be his friend, I don’t need anything more.” And he means it. Donghyuck is not about to let Mark break his heart all over again. 

Renjun seems to be satisfied with that answer, reaching across the table to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair. As annoying as it may be, to have his friends pry like this, he knows it’s because they care, and he’s grateful for that fact. 

“Well,” Jeno begins, rejoining the conversation. “I think everything will work out in the end.” Jeno has always had an optimistic view of the world, and was always the one that promised things would get better when Donghyuck felt especially down. 

This time Donghyuck believes him. He doesn’t know what the future has in store for him, but he is hopeful. There is happiness in his future, with Mark or without him.

☼

Mark looks nervous, more so than Donghyuck has ever seen him. He can’t blame him, it’s the moment they’ve been waiting for for a long time. They’ve prepared a lot for this, and neither of them want to screw this up. 

While Donghyuck doesn’t _love_ presentations, he isn't the type to get too nervous about them. Mark, however, cares too much about his grades, and often psyches himself out. 

“We’re going to do fine,” Donghyuck reassures, patting Mark on the shoulder. “We’ve prepared a lot for this, don’t be worried!” Mark gives him a weak smile, but it’s clear by the way he is frantically shuffling through his note cards that Donghyuck’s words do little to make him feel better. 

By the time their names are called, Mark’s hands are shaking, and Donghyuck is worried the older boy is going to choke. He looks over at Renjun and Jeno across the room, the latter giving him a tiny thumbs up, and it’s enough for Donghyuck to start the presentation with a bang. 

Donghyuck is a natural with crowds, and he is commanding the classroom in the most engaging presentation the class has seen so far. And despite his nerves, Mark takes it in strides as well. 

They play off of each other so well, they work together so perfectly, that Donghyuck can’t help but notice the way they fit together like two halves of a whole. Even things as mundane as class presentations are fun with Mark. 

They fly through their presentation, and it's even better than all of the times they practiced it. Donghyuck can tell by Dr. Kim’s expression that he is also impressed. They just have to get through the questions segment and they are practically guaranteed an A. Donghyuck isn’t too worried, he is practically an expert on _1984_ at this point. 

“Okay, there is time for just one more question,” Dr. Kim announces, gesturing for a blonde girl in the front row to start speaking. 

“Why do you think that the Party in _1984_ wanted to stop love, sex, and passion?” she asks, throwing them both for a loop. Donghyuck had prepared for questions about literary themes in the book, and their presentation was focused more on censorship than romance, so isn’t quite sure how to answer than. He looks over at Mark, and can tell from his expression that he is panicking inside. Donghyuck is going to have to take the reins on this one.

“W-well,” Donghyuck stutters, trying to formulate an answer. “I love is one of the greatest forces in life. I think in a dystopian world where the government controls everything, love is a great barrier to power. People can concede a lot, but when it comes to love, it’s the one thing humans will always fight for. If you love someone, you don’t give up on them, even if it gets hard. Loyalty to your partner is greater than loyalty to anything or anyone else, and that’s a danger to an oppressive power,” he finishes. 

Dr. Kim claps his hands together, a big smile on his face. “Great answer, Donghyuck! What a way to end a phenomenal presentation. The two of you work well together, truly. I’ve never seen two project partners who were so compatible.”

They make their way back to their seats, both of them blushing the entire way, choosing to ignore the comments. Donghyuck spends the rest of the class trying not to fall asleep during other people’s presentations, and Mark spends the rest of the class sending longing looks his way. 

☼

After their roaring success of a presentation, Mark and Donghyuck make plans to meet up later in the evening. Neither of them are feeling particularly up for going out, both tired from preparing for presentations and exams all week. However, given that it’s Renjun and Jaemin’s 6 month anniversary, Donghyuck’s apartment will not be free. So, for the first time, they decide to spend time at Mark’s. 

When Donghyuck arrives, he is immediately struck by just how different their spaces are. While Donghyuck’s apartment is full of mismatched furniture that either he or Renjun found at thrift stores, Mark’s has been professionally decorated. It’s absolutely stunning, but nothing in the space screams Mark. It simply doesn’t feel like a home. 

Mark gives him a quick tour of the place before they settle into the stiff leather sofa that sits in his living room. It’s then that Donghyuck spots it, hiding in the corner. The one aspect of Mark in the entire space: his guitar. Donghyuck stocks up to it, grabs it, and hands it to Mark. 

“Let’s do a little busking,” Donghyuck suggests, Mark agreeing easily. Mark starts playing a familiar rhythm and Donghyuck gasps in recognition. 

“Justin Bieber? Really Mark?” he teases, Mark blushing but standing his ground. “Don’t judge, he has some great music,” Mark defends himself. Despite his prior complaints, Donghyuck sings along easily. 

They go through a catalog of songs, noticing for the first time that even their music tastes align. Donghyuck shouldn’t be surprised by their compatibility anymore, they are literally soulmates, but it’s such a strange feeling to meet someone who connects with him on every level. 

Mark starts up another melody, though Donghyuck doesn’t recognize it. He raises an eyebrow at Mark, who looks down sheepishly. “I wrote this one,” he mutters, refusing to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. 

“Then play it for me,” Donghyuck prods. “I want to hear you sing for me, Mark.” Despite his nerves, Mark complies. He’s never shared any of his music with another person, much less the newest and most personal song he’s ever written, but it's easy to pour his heart out to Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck listens as Mark sings, a pretty voice that has little training but still packs a punch. He sings about love, and regret, and trying to make up for his past mistakes. He sings a story so personal that Donghyuck would recognize it anywhere. It’s the story of them. 

Donghyuck has tears in his eyes as he listens to Mark pour his heart out to him through song. He doesn’t know why Mark chose to show this to him, what the meaning behind this all is, but he can’t help but take in every word, every chord, every truth. 

When Mark finishes, he puts his guitar off to the side, neither of them choosing to say anything. Instead they stare at each other, as they lean in simultaneously. Neither of them are thinking about what they are about to do, too lost in the need to be closer to each other to even consider the consequences of their actions. 

Donghyuck’s lips are just a hair away from Mark’s when a notification from his phone pulls him away. If it were a normal notification, like one from his messages or social media, they probably would have just ignored it. But it’s the distinct noise, one that’s become a staple in pop culture that pulls them both away. 

It’s from _Match Your DNA_. Donghyuck pulls out his phone, confused as to why he would be getting any sort of correspondence from an app he hasn’t touched in months. Mark is still close to him, half of top of him practically, and watches as he pulls out his phone and opens the app with bated breath. 

Neither of them are expecting what they are about to see on the screen.

One New Match: Huang Yukhei.

☽

Mark had heard of people having more than one soulmate, though he never expected it to happen to Donghyuck. The odds of this happening are practically one in a million, and Mark can’t believe that his Donghyuck of all people has beaten the odds. 

After Donghyuck had gotten the notification, things had turned awkward very quickly. Neither of them acknowledged what they had just witnessed, and sat through an entire movie, neither saying anything, before Donghyuck finally went home. 

Once Mark is alone, he lets himself finally process what just happened. And it nearly breaks him. 

Donghyuck has two soulmates, and given how Mark treated him in the past, he would never pick him. Why would Donghyuck ever choose Mark, someone who hurt him immensely, over someone who would probably love and cherish him? This comes along with a second realization. 

Mark wants Donghyuck to choose him so fucking bad. He wants to take back everything he has ever done and beg the boy to stay with him forever. He loves Donghyuck and can’t imagine not being with him. He’s _in love_ with Donghyuck and has fucked up his only chance irreparably. 

Chenle was right, he was going to lose another thing that made him happy because he was too scared to defy the expectations his parents had set out for him. Only this wasn’t just an extra couple of years of guitar lessons, or a chance to go to a party that everyone else in his class will be at. This time he is losing his soulmate, his literal other half, and for the first time, the gravity of the situation sets in. 

After bawling his outs out on his bathroom floor, Mark makes a decision, one he knows he won’t regret. He is going to fight for this, for Donghyuck. If Donghyuck chooses to be with his other soulmate, Mark will find a way to deal with it. But he isn’t going to let the boy go without first telling him just how much he means to him. 

He makes plans with Donghyuck for Saturday, and spends the days leading up to it finding every excuse to hang out with the boy. He can’t help it, the need to be close to Donghyuck overtaking all other priorities in his life. 

(Because now Donghyuck has someone else, someone who can be there for him in all of the ways Mark refused to be. It’s only a matter of time before Donghyuck walks out of his life for good.)

Mark clings to Donghyuck. All of the time they spend together over the next couple of days includes Mark’s arm over his shoulder, hand on his thigh, head on his shoulder. Anything to be close to Donghyuck Mark will do, especially because he doesn’t know how much longer he has with the boy. 

He’s also taken to doing some favors for Donghyuck. Offering to walk him to class, buying him coffee, letting him borrow his headphones. In all honesty, things Mark should have been doing a long time again. 

At the time Mark was respecting boundaries, ones he himself set into place. Now he is doing everything he can do to dismantle them, to show Donghyuck that he wants to steer their relationship in a new direction. 

Donghyuck catches on, but he doesn’t say anything, nor does he change his existing behavior towards Mark. It’s like Donghyuck is acting as if he never received that notification, and it’s driving Mark, crazy over-thinking every interaction they have. But at least he is receptive to Mark’s sudden shift in things. At least he isn’t shoving him away.

Even if Donghyuck eventually rejects Mark’s romantic confession, that isn’t what’s most important. All that matters to Mark at this point is that Donghyuck understands how much Mark truly loves him. 

☽

When Saturday comes, Mark is confident he has planned everything without a hitch. Whether Donghyuck accepts his confession or not, he is going to make sure that it’s a special and memorable day regardless. 

Mark wanted to maximize just how loved Donghyuck could feel, but realized that he didn’t know the boy’s love language. So he structured their day around every single love language, hoping that something in particular might stand out, and make Donghyuck feel truly loved. 

While Donghyuck knew that he had plans with Mark, he didn’t specify when. That was on purpose. Mark wanted to surprise the boy early in the morning (well...technically it was 11am, but given that Donghyuck likes to sleep until 2pm on weekends, it’s plenty early for him) with breakfast in bed. 

The first love language of the day is acts of service. Mark doesn’t know what better way to start the day than a good, hearty breakfast. Putting in the time and effort to cook for Donghyuck would surely show the lengths Mark is willing to go for the boy, especially when he doesn’t normally cook. 

Though Mark wasn’t planning on heading over to Donghyuck’s place until after 10, he got up early to prepare. Mark knows that at some point, he is going to really fuck things up, so he is starting early in case he needs to start over. Things go right for the most part, and Mark has managed pancakes, muffins, sausage and bacon (all keeping warm in insulated thermos), until he runs into his first and only kitchen disaster of the day: fried eggs. 

Mark tries nearly 5 times, going through half a dozen eggs, before he realizes that he doesn’t have many eggs left, and he needs to get these next ones right or risk an eggless breakfast. He calls Chenle for reinforcements. 

Luckily Chenle is awake. Not because he wakes up early, but because he hasn’t gone to bed yet. Even luckier for Mark, Chenle lives just down the hall from him, and simply walks over and fries the eggs for him. 

“Thank you so much, man” Mark grins at him, packing up the food to bring to Donghyuck’s place. “I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Chenle smiles, “Just go get your man!”

Mark makes his way over to Donghyuck’s apartment, making one quick stop at a flower shop. He wasn’t planning on getting him anything (the gifts section of Mark’s love language quest will come later) but he sees the sunflowers and can’t resist. They remind him of Donghyuck instantly. 

He arrives just in time, and Renjun is waiting for him to let him in. Mark is eternally grateful that the boy was willing to help, especially after their rocky start. But he knows deep down Renjun wants to see his best friend happy, and who better to accomplish that than the one (but not only) person who was technically made to do just that. 

Cooking went smoothly (for the most part), set-up was a breeze (all Mark had to do was arrange the food he cooked on a little tray, making sure to add a vase with his sunflowers as well), and now comes the hard part. Waking Donghyuck up. 

Donghyuck is notoriously sleepy, and while Mark would love to watch him sleep peacefully for hours (not in a creepy way, he swears), he doesn’t want the food to get cold. So he nudges him gently, whispering encouragement into his ear until he finally wakes up. 

Donghyuck looks adorably cuddly and helplessly confused taking in the sight of Mark in his room so early. “What’s this?” he asks, voice thick with sleep. 

“I thought I would surprise you with breakfast,” Mark answers, suddenly nervous. “I know you like to sleep in, and I was worried you would leave the house without a proper meal. I have a lot planned for us today, so I want you to feel energized.”

Donghyuck blinks for a couple of seconds, before smiling big and beautiful. “This looks absolutely amazing, Mark!” he beams. “Come in,” he offers, pulling back the covers and allowing Mark to crawl in. 

They spend the morning snuggling up next to each other in bed, eating the delicious meal that Mark made. It is relaxing and special and only the beginning of what is to come. Overall, Mark has to say that acts of service proved to be a roaring success. 

☽

After a lazy morning in bed (which has Mark thinking about waking up everyday next to Donghyuck, nearly giving him a heart attack), Donghyuck finally gets ready. Just in time too, because Mark has something special planned next. 

After a quick walk across town, Mark and Donghyuck arrive at a recording studio. It’s time for some quality time. Mark doesn’t know a lot about love languages, but this one may be his favorite. 

“What are we doing here?” Donghyuck asks, looking around the studio in awe. 

“I booked us a recording session,” Mark proclaims. “I want you to sing the demo on that song I wrote. I think you’d be absolutely perfect for it!”

“Mark…” Donghyuck trails off, and Mark almost braces himself for rejection. “Are you sure? I mean, you told me how much it meant to you, I’m worried I won’t be able to do it justice,” Donghyuck replies. 

Mark shakes his head. Donghyuck is dumb not to recongize how insanely talented he is. “Don’t be silly. I love your voice. You’re perfect for this, seriously.” And that’s all the push Donghyuck needs to accept his proposal. 

They spend hours and hours in the studio, Donghyuck singing flawlessly. By the time they’ve completed everything, Donghyuck’s voice is sore and the song is perfect. Mark can’t imagine anyone else singing it. 

However, they still have some studio time left, so they spend a while working on something of their own. A song together. It’s a song about new beginnings and Mark can’t help but think it’s perfect for them. Every day with Donghyuck, Mark feels himself falling harder and harder, and the last thing he wants is for things to end. 

It’s through this time in the studio that Mark gets to see Donghyuck truly in his element. Surrounded by music, the one passion that they both seem to share. It’s intimate, being with each other like this, but it’s perfect. It’s quality time. 

But, after a long, productive day, their session is coming to an end. But it’s okay, because Mark still has more plans for him. They walk to Han River, where Jisung and Chenle have graciously set out a picnic for them. This time, Mark didn’t have to cook, but he did dish out some serious cash to get pasta and wine from a very expensive Italian place that his parents recommended (though certainly not for this purpose, Mark concedes). 

Donghyuck’s eyes are positively dazzling when he lays his eyes on the picnic in front of him, and they dig into their food with comfortable conversation flowing. The sun is starting to set now and there is a slight breeze in the air. This is where love language asset number three comes in: gifts. 

“I uh, was worried you might get a little cold, given how chilly it can get at night this time of year,” Mark says, reaching in the basket that Donghyuck must have assumed was for aesthetics only. “So I got you this sweatshirt to keep you warm.”

Mark reaches in and pulls out a simple black hoodie, with a printed white pattern of a sun and a moon. “It reminded me of you when I saw it. Because people compare you to the sun all of the time, and you like to wear black, and I thought you would look cute in something big and oversized-”Mark rambles. 

“Mark!” Donghyuck interrupts, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “I love it!” he beams, and Mark is positively thrilled. 

Donghyuck immediately puts on the hoodie and Mark was right, it does look cute on him. “So Mark, if I’m the sun, does that make you the moon? You know because we are soulmates and all?” he asks. 

Mark laughs before shaking his head. “No, it’s more like you are the sun and I’m the Earth orbiting around you, begging you to shine some of your warmth on me.” He’s so earnest, that it promptly shuts Donghyuck up. 

They put away their empty food supplies into the now empty basket, and shuffle until Donghyuck is in between Mark’s legs, the older boy’s arms holding tightly around his waist. They don’t say anything, but nothing in that moment needs to be said. 

This is love language number 4, physical touch, but Mark has sprinkled this one out throughout the day. From cuddling in bed this morning, to holding hands on the way to the studio, to now peacefully sitting in each other’s arms. There is no place Mark would rather be than right here with his soulmate. 

“Today was so magical,” Donghyuck says suddenly, breaking the silence. “Thank you so much for doing all of this for me.”

Mark pulls away, turning so that Donghyuck is now facing him. It’s time. The final piece of his love language puzzle piece: words of affirmation. His confession. 

“I wanted to do all of this for you Donghyuck, because I wanted to show you just how much you mean to me, and let you know that I think you deserve only nice things,” Mark begins. 

“When you told me that you had struggled with your self worth in the past, I was genuinely so shocked. To me, you were so obviously perfect that I couldn’t imagine anyone, let alone yourself, thinking otherwise,” he continues. 

Donghyuck listens intently, face remarkably blank. Mark doesn’t know if it’s a good sign or a bad sign. 

“But then I remembered how I treated you when we first met, and I understand better. The biggest regret of my life was making you feel like you aren’t wanted. Because how could anyone not want you, Donghyuck? You are the funniest, smartest, kindest, most beautiful person I have met, and I am so sorry I haven’t ever told you that,” Mark confesses. He can see Donghyuck’s eyes going misty, but he continues anyway. 

“I know I am probably too late, and that you have so many other, better options than me. But I need you to know that I am so unbelievably in love with you. And if I gave you a chance all those months ago, it would have been the best decision I’ve ever made. You don’t have to pick me, and I understand if you don’t, but I promise if you give me a chance, I will give you all the love you deserve and then some. I will never hurt you again, Donghyuck. I love you too much,” Mark finishes. They both are crying at the weight of the confession, but neither say anything at first. 

“I can’t accept your confession,” Donghyuck admits, and Mark can feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. “But I’m not rejecting it either. I need some time to think.”

Mark nods understandably. Anything is better than a flat-out rejection and he will gladly allow Donghyuck to have all the time he needs to figure things out. He would wait a lifetime for Donghyuck to come back to him.

“You really hurt me, you know. I know I said I’m a lot better in terms of my mental health -and I am- but you put me back in a place of self-doubt again. And I can’t just move past that and give you all of me until I do some reflecting. I need to make sure I’m fully healed and not going to commit to someone who is just going to hurt me,” Donghyuck confesses. 

Mark wants to argue that he would never hurt Donghyuck, but actions speak louder than words, and his actions when they first met were loud and clear. He can only hope that Donghyuck can see the changes he has made, and choose to accept it. 

So Mark walks Donghyuck home, and tries not to be bitter. He is grateful that it wasn’t a rejection, but saddened knowing he can’t spend the night in his boy’s arms. It still hurts. Mark still cries himself to sleep. But it’s not the end. 

☽

It’s been a couple of days since Mark has heard from Donghyuck, and his least shred of sanity is hanging by a thread. He respects Donghyuck’s need for time, but Mark has a tendency to overreact, and he gets more stressed out as the days pass. (Not mention the fact that Mark misses him more than anything.)

Mark is so desperate for a distraction that he actually agrees to have dinner with his parents. It’s just going to be the three of them, none of their “friends” this time, so Mark doesn’t have to worry about being on his best behavior. (Though deep down he knows they probably wanted to meet with him alone so that they can yell at him for being a bad son.)

When he arrives, his family is friendly enough, and Mark almost believes for a second that the night will actually be pleasant. And for the first half of the night, it is. 

Mark’s parents do most of the talking, and while he admittedly doesn’t care about their high society lifestyle, he is glad for the distraction. Hearing about rich people drama keeps his mind off of Donghyuck and the longing he feels for him. 

Things turn a little sour when his parents bring up his major again. 

“You’ve had your fun, Mark,” His dad says sternly, in the middle of dessert. “Don’t you think it’s time you settled down and got serious? We don’t want your little side venture to hurt your grades and jeopardize things for you do you? Because we all know your future is in business, not music.”

Mark seethes inside, trying to keep his composure. “I got straight A’s this semester, dad. I don’t know why it offends you so much that I am choosing to do something that makes me happy, when I’m still complying to your terms anyway,” he mumbles. 

His parents sputter at him, and admittedly it's the rudest he has ever been to them (which still isn’t that rude considering what they deserve.) 

“Mark, don’t speak to your father like that,” his mother steps in. “We are just doing what we know is best for you-” Mark cuts her off before she can finish. 

“How do you know what’s best for me? You don’t know anything about me. You’ve never asked me what my interests are, or what I want to do with my life. You just control me and threaten me if I don’t comply,” he barks. 

It’s the wrong move. His parents don’t take any accountability, because why would they. They’ve never once apologized for anything in their lives. They are narcissists, and can’t fathom the idea that for once they might actually be wrong. 

Mark tunes them out. He doesn’t need to hear them gaslight him about how they know what’s best and how he is the problem. He pulls out his phone to call for a ride, which only angers his parents more. 

It’s then he sees a notification on his phone, that Donghyuck has posted on instagram (yes he has his post notifications on, he’s in love with the boy dammit!). He quickly clicks on the link and is taken to a post of his soulmate smiling with a boy he has never seen before. When he looks at the caption, it’s tagged with the name @huangyukhei. He feels his heart drop to his stomach. He sees white. 

“We are not going to let you ruin your life-” His mother is shouting, and it’s all it takes for Mark to explode. 

“My life is already ruined. YOU ruined my life. I’ve had to give up everything I care about, everything I love, for you. And why? You guys don’t even treat me well. I’m just your show pony for you to dress up and show off in public, only for you to abuse me behind closed doors,” he screams. He’s never yelled like this in his life, but he’s never been this angry. He has never felt such visceral, burning pain before. 

“I was matched,” Mark continues, surprising both of his parents. “I was matched but I never told you guys because I knew you would never approve. I never did anything about it because I know you guys would attack and attack and wear me down until you get what you want. I gave up on the love of my life for you, for you to get your fucking way again,” he yells, voice hoarse as tears start to fall. 

“My soulmate isn’t some pretty, submissive rich girl for you to control like a puppet. His name is Lee Donghyuck and he wears ripped jeans, and doesn’t care about status, and wants to be a music teacher,” Mark explains, his parent’s faces turning to looks of disgust as he describes his soulmate. (A music teacher? Really? There is no money in that!)

“He’s perfect and I wouldn’t change a single thing about him. He is the love of my goddamn life, and I don’t care what kind of bullshit consequences you have for me, I’m fighting for him. I will never forgive you for the way you’ve treated me all of these years, and I will never forgive myself for the way I treated him in order to please you guys. I’m done playing happy family with you guys,” Mark finishes, not bothering to hear a response. He walks out of the house without looking back. 

It only confirms to Mark that is no longer doing what his parents want. He isn’t doing what the universe or some app wants either. He is being entirely selfish, focusing only on his own deepest desires. And more than anything, he wants Donghyuck.

☽

When Mark gets home, it all hits him at once. Donghyuck meeting his other soulmate, his blowout with parents, the thought of being alone forever. Because now, not only did he lose Donghyuck (his literal soulmate) he’s also probably lost his family too, and it hurts regardless of how shitty they were to him. 

He can’t help it, he bawls his eyes out, crying harder than he ever has. He doesn’t know what was more traumatic, opening up instagram and seeing Donghyuck with someone else, or yelling at his parents like that. All he knows is that both actions were deserved. 

He spends the evening crying himself to sleep, not bothering to set alarm for the next day. At this point, he is too emotionally exhausted to care. 

☽

When Mark wakes up the next morning, the sun is high in the sky and there is a banging at the door. He checks his phone and sees that it’s 1pm, meaning he’s slept through his morning classes. Not that it matters, the semester is practically over anyway. 

He gets up slowly, making his way over to his door. He catches sight of himself in the mirror in his hallway, and it’s not a pretty sight. His eyes are swollen from how hard he cried the night before, and his hair is greasy and unwashed. He can’t bring himself to care. 

He opens his door and is greeted by the sight of the one boy he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about. Donghyuck’s smile slides off of his face the second he takes a good look at Mark. 

“D-Donghyuck,” Mark stutters in surprise. “What are you doing here?” he asks. 

“You weren’t in class,” Donghyuck answers easily. “I was worried. And now that I’ve taken a look at you, I know I was right to feel that way. Mark, what happened?” 

Mark bites his lip, trying to formulate an answer. He doesn't want to tell Donghyuck that he cried after seeing that picture of him with Yukhei, that feels manipulative to him. So he tells a half truth. 

“I confronted my parents last night,” Mark admits, tearing up despite himself. “I just unleashed every negative feeling I’ve kept bottled up for the last 20 something years and let them have it,” he explains, unable to say any more. It’s too painful, even now. 

Donghyuck just steps forward, pulling him in for a tight hug. Mark breaks down in his arms, the younger boy, murmuring kind, reassuring words the entire time. “I’m so proud of you, Mark. It must have been so hard to confront your abusers like that. You’re so brave, baby.”

They eventually make their way over to the couch, where Donghyuck wraps Mark in a warm blanket and brings him a cup of coffee. It feels nice to be taken care of like this. No one has ever been this nurturing towards Mark, not even the nannies that his parents hired when they were too uninterested to parent him themselves. 

“Actually Mark, there is something else I wanted to talk to you about,” Donghyuck begins, biting his lip gently. “I met my other soulmate. I met Yukhei.” Mark nods, refusing to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. It’s just confirmation of what he already knew. He would probably cry if he had any tears left, but he doesn’t so his face remains blank. 

“Mark, please look at me,” Donghyuck pleads. And despite himself, despite how painful it is to look at the boy in front of him, who blinds him with a light that shines brighter than the sun, he complies. 

“I told him that I was so happy to meet him, but I couldn’t be with him. I told him I was in love with someone else,” Donghyuck admits, and everything goes blank again. Mark stares at Donghyuck, gaping like a fish, unable to formulate a coherent sentence. 

“Mark… please say something,” Donghyuck begs, and it’s enough for Mark to get his shit together. He doesn’t want to cause the boy any more suffering than he already has. 

“Does-Does this mean you want to be together? Does this mean you accept my confession?” Mark asks, shocked at the desperation in his voice. More than anything, he wants a yes. He wants confirmation that Donghyuck will be his forever. 

Donghyuck nods, and that’s all Mark needs before he reaches out for the other boy and holds him tight to his chest. “I love you, so fucking much,” Mark whispers. “I will do everything in my power to be the best version of myself for you. I’m going to be the man you deserve.”

Donghyuck pulls back, but not too far. He is still close enough that Mark could count every eyelash on his lids, could trace the constellation of moles on his cheek. 

“I love you too,” Donghyuck smiles, eyes watery. “You’re already the perfect person for me. You’re my soulmate.” And with that he leans in and kisses Mark for the very first time. 

It’s more of an electric shock than a kiss. A thousand lightning bolts strike the inside of Mark’s chest, but it isn't painful. It’s overwhelming, and _so much_ , but it’s the best feeling in the world. Being with Donghyuck is the best feeling in the world. And he is never going to let this go. 

☽ ☼

Mark and Donghyuck have been dating for approximately four months, and neither of them know how they got so lucky. It was a rough journey to get to where they are now, but they made it out on the other side, mostly unharmed, and most importantly, together. 

They’re snuggled up in Donghyuck’s bed after a double date with Donghyuck’s other soulmate Yukhei and his boyfriend Hendery. As luck would have it, Yukhei had two soulmates as well, and met up with Donghyuck for the first time for the very same reason. He already met the love of his life, and couldn’t spare any room in his heart for another. 

Over the past couple of months, they’ve all gotten to know each other, and true to their word, Donghyuck and Yukhei’s feelings are strictly platonic for each other. (Though if Donghyuck’s feelings ever did change, Mark would support him. At this point, the most important thing to him is Donghyuck’s happiness.) Mark wasn’t expecting for all of them to get along so well, or for Yukhei to quickly become one of his closest friends, but he’s incredibly grateful that things worked out the way that they did. Everything worked out perfectly in the end. 

Things with Mark’s parents were even going well. I mean, as well as they could in their circumstances. While they aren’t currently speaking, they haven’t cut him off either. Mark supposes it’s bad for their image to have a disowned son. Who knows, maybe someday Mark will be able to introduce Donghyuck to them, but he isn’t holding his breath. 

Since they’ve gotten together Mark has spent more time at Donghyuck’s place than his own. It works out, because Renjun is mostly at Jaemin’s these days anyway. It’s the first time he’s ever had a real home, and coming back to Donghyuck’s welcoming arms every day is the best feeling in the world. 

Which brings them back to their current position, Mark resting his head on Donghyuck’s chest, the younger boy’s arms wrapped firmly around him. 

“Can I ask you something?” Donghyuck asks suddenly, to which Mark nods right away. He is minutes from dozing off, but he figures he can spare a couple moments of conversation. “What was it about me that made you think your parents wouldn’t approve?”

“You wore ripped jeans in half of your photos on _Match Your DNA_ ,” Mark answers immediately, not realizing how absurd he sounds until Donghyuck bursts into laughter. He joins in too, because honestly, Mark’s initial reaction to his soulmate was absolutely ridiculous. 

“What made you change your mind?” Donghyuck asks instead. Mark smiles. This one is just as easy to answer. 

“Everything. As soon as we got to know each other, I knew immediately that I couldn’t let you go,” Marks replies earnestly, snuggling into his boyfriend’s chest for added effect. 

Donghyuck giggles, squeezing Mark tight. “You know, I think we would have ended up together eventually, anyway. We are soulmates afterall.” Mark hums in agreement and lets himself be lulled to sleep by his boyfriend’s soft voice. 

Two hours later, when they are fast asleep, their phones starting going off, news articles and text messages blowing their phones up, the two of them none the wiser. 

_Breaking: New Reports from Match Your DNA show a glitch in the system. At least one-third of the couples who have been matched using the service are not actually soulmates. More updates to come._

In his sleep, Mark reaches for his soulmate (or not his soulmate?) and holds him tight, blissfully unaware of the chaos they are about to wake up to.

**Author's Note:**

> so... do we want the renmin companion/sequel fic or nah
> 
> twitter and curious cat linked below
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/lefargenjeno)
> 
> [my cc](https://curiouscat.me/lefargen)


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